Where do parental obligations end?
I’ve found myself in somewhat an uncomfortable situation and the recent news of the MySpace suicide case has me feeling all the more uncomfortable.
The girl one of my boys was “going out with” broke up with him recently. Apparently she’s fallen in love with a boy she met on MySpace. A boy she’s only emailed, Instant Messaged and text messaged. She claims she felt pressured by this MySpace Romeo to break up with my son and go out with him (whether or not that’s true, I don’t know).
I explained to my son that I want him to stay away from that situation because there’s nothing to say the kid she’s in love with isn’t some 50-year-old perv or even a 48-year-old woman as seen in the suicide case.
I’ve really been torn on whether or not I should point out the concern to the girls parents or should I mind my own business?
I keep telling myself that it takes a village to raise a child and that I need to be the responsible villager and tell. But then my son says if I talk I could ruin his life in school - no one will want to hang out with him because of his big mouthed mom.
Should I observe from afar and if it gets more serious step in?
I hope and pray this girl isn’t as fragile as Megan Meier and that some way, some how - this whole issue will resolve on it’s own.
6 opinions for Where do parental obligations end?
Denise
May 16, 2008 at 10:40 am
I think you should call the other mom, especially if you have any kind of relationship with her. Voiced as a concern in light of what currently is going on in the news it will be taken well by the mom, I should hope.Who cares what the kids at school say? It might actually be a good dialog for them to have.. perhaps make more than one of them think twice about ‘going out’ with people on social networking sites that they have never met.
Shannon Smith
May 16, 2008 at 10:50 am
Tough call! I think I’d end up erring on the side of caution and mention it to the parents. Who’s to say it would get back to everybody in school anyway. And even if it does, if something happens and you didn’t say something you are going to have a hard time forgiving yourself, and I would imagine your son would too.
BMS
May 16, 2008 at 11:34 am
My mom always operated on the premise that if she was “ruining my life”, she was probably on the right track. I hate to say it, but she was right 99% of the time.
Kadi
May 16, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Think of it this way, Gayla:
If something did end up happening to this girl, would you feel right about not mentioning it to her parents? Would you kick yourself for not intervening?
Maybe you can send them an anonymous note. Try not to make it sound accusatory or berating, just voice your concern for the girls’ safety and maybe even site the news story to justify your concern. Do you think that would work?
Ashley
May 16, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Maybe you could talk to the girl instead? What if this new boyfriend is really a kid?
Half-Past Kissin' Time
May 17, 2008 at 1:11 pm
I wouldn’t call the mom. In the first place, you don’t even know if it’s true. (Sounds like B.S. to me.) Secondly, it will look like you are intervening on your son’s behalf (even though you aren’t). If you are truly worried about her, print out an article on this subject and mail it anonymously to the parents, jotting a simple “Concerned about ‘Susie’ ” note on it. I once did this with a girl’s MySpace page that my daughter showed me. I printed a copy and mailed it anonymously to the parents. A few days later, the page disappeared, and I feel better for it.
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