When Enough Is Enough
Wednesday’s episode of Supernanny introduced us to the An-Duan family. Mr. and Mrs. An-Duan are similar to many American parents, in that they strive to give their children every opportunity to succeed in life. It was very evident that education, culture and fine arts ranked high on the list of priorities for their five kids. However, the excess of extracurricular activities created a hectic lifestyle and an overabundance of undue stress for everyone. The An-Duan’s well intended attempts at raising well rounded children were seriously backfiring. Their situation raises a good question. How do you know when enough is enough, when it comes to children and extracurricular activities?
I always suggest looking for telltale signs. A child will usually inform their parent when they become overwhelmed. However, they may just mean that they’ve had enough for that day, or be using their expressed desire to quit an activity as a manipulation tool. The most reliable way to tell if you are overloading your child with activities is by observing their behavior and body language.
Is your child experiencing an increase in temper tantrums or mood swings? These are obvious signs of over-stimulation and stress. Changes in appetite, lower grades and increased fatigue can also signal a need for reassessment of your child’s activity level. The bottom line is, childhood should include plenty of free time. If your child’s week is so full of organized sports, lessons and scheduled events, that they begin to dread the activities that they begged so fervently to join, are you really doing them a favor? They have the rest of their lives to take advantage of supplemental activities. Take the opportunity to teach them the art of relaxation and spontaneous play. School and homework should be top priorities and the rest considered optional past times, easily discontinued if the need should arise.
What is your take on this topic? Are your kids involved in more than one extracurricular activity per week and, if so, how does it effect your family? Would you be willing to allow them to stop if they showed signs of overload, or expressed a desire to cut out certain activities?
Tags: abc, behavior, extracurricular-activities, schoolRelated Stories
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5 opinions for When Enough Is Enough
Gayla McCord
Jan 19, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I think kids are being spread FAR too thin these days. When I was growing up, I was able to be in something two seasons a year, the rest of the time was down time and gave my family a rest from all the running - and more time to focus on being a family or member of one.
Cathy
Jan 19, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Parents need to check their own motives in allowing the kids to be apart of so many events. Are they afraid they will have to entertain them if there is too much down time? Is it an easy way to “get some things done” while the kids are in sports, lessons, etc.? The activities should be for the enjoyment of the kids.
Kadi Prescott
Jan 19, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Amen! Some parents, I believe, have good intentions but don’t realize that it is too much. My husband raises a good question concerning this matter: “What does an adult want to do after work? Do they want to take on one or two extra activities every day of the week? No. They want some down time, as do kids.”
Parents should not expect their kids to take on more than they themselves would want to. Even then, some adults are more active and some are less. kids are the same. Some love to take part in extra things, some do not. It should be an individual assessment and activity level.
Qtpies7~
Jan 21, 2008 at 6:51 pm
I don’t allow my kids to get too overloaded. I have very social kids who need more, and unsocial kids who need to keep it low-key.
While I think that kids should be made to stick to things they start, you have to know when to call it quits, too. We had to make just that call a couple of times this year already. A paid for football season dropped, and we even dropped out of public school with another child.
We have even dropped some church activities.
BMS
Jan 23, 2008 at 11:14 am
I can think of 3-4 families I know who have chosen to sign their kids up for too many activities, who are miserable, who know they are miserable, but seem to be unable to stop. One acquaintance simply can’t conceive of an entirely unscheduled day - the thought gives her hives. But at the same time, her sons get cranky and tired, they have to be practically forced at gunpoint to go to an event, and then they hardly participate once they are there. Yet she will claim over and over that they ‘need structure’, despite all the evidence that this is just making them all stressed out. Boggles the mind.
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