What’s the best sex education?
How many times have you said “If I knew then what I know now” when it comes to relationships, parenting and sex?
What exactly do you wish you’d known then? How would you have used that information to change the course of your life?
Back in the day when I was attending school and participating in a class called Family Relations, I wished the teacher provided more information on uncomfortable topics because what I heard on the bus, in the halls and locker room was so confusing, it was difficult to draw any type of informed conclusion.
The one thing I knew for certain was If I did decide to become intimate with a boy, and if my parents found out, I’d not live to see the coveted age of 18. You know, the age when kids are determined to move out, get a great job and a place of their own where they could do what they want, when they want!
Who needed abstinence education with parents like mine?
Mine were the type of parents a kid was petrified to ask questions of, especially on the topic of sex - So where ARE kids supposed to get the information they crave the answers to?
As uncomfortable as the discussions are, I’ve committed to answering my kids questions as honestly and informatively as I possibly can. At least I can safely assume that IF they are being given bad information, I can contradict that information by teaching my kids who can in turn inform the ill-advised blabber mouth at school.
A prime example would be the day my kids came home after having learned the really cool word douche on the bus. Suddenly that was the new name to call kids?!?! Douche, douche bag… whatever suited their fancy. Yeah, I don’t get it either!
I asked my son if he had any idea what that was and asked him to explain why it’s now the new name to call each other.
Apparently some kid on the bus told my two that douche meant the same as defecation. (I’m being polite here - of course teenage boys won’t use THAT word)
When I explained to them exactly what that word meant, they became somewhat embarrassed, but more than anything they saw the deep ignorance in what they’re friend had told them.
This is a mild example of what kids are learning on the bus, in the halls and from their buddies. One can only imagine how misinformed they are when it comes to something as serious as sex.
I think we all know that teens are going to do it. Teens are going to pressure one another into doing it. Teens are going to say they’re doing it, even if they aren’t - just to be cool and in turn encourage their friends to do it.
Is teaching kids abstinence going to be enough to prevent them from making mistakes that will have them looking back in twenty years wishing they knew now what they know then?
Tags: abstinence education, sex education, teens, parenting teens, family discussion
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POSTED IN: Parenting
5 opinions for What’s the best sex education?
kadi
Feb 4, 2008 at 10:50 am
My husband said it best, “When I was a teenager, sex was all about making me feel good. After I grew up and learned what love truly was, sex was awesome because it was about making my wife feel good, which makes me feel fantastic!”
Teenagers think of sex as a physical fullfillment, not an all incompassing act of love and emotional oneness. That is something that can only be learned with maturity and is why teens should remain abstinent.
Gayla McCord
Feb 4, 2008 at 11:03 am
I couldn’t agree more Kadi, but what should adults be doing to encourage kids to wait?
I’m totally for abstinence in theory - but reality tells me these kids need to be armed with information, education and methods of prevention until they do mature.
kadi
Feb 4, 2008 at 11:22 am
I ride the fence on this one. I want to scare the crap out of my kids by way of videos and books about STDs, but I know how teens think, “That won’t happen to me. I’m invincible!”
So, when we get to that point, I will do my best to inform them of everything I can, keep communication lines open and provide an incentive for remaining abstinent until marriage. Something along the lines of, “Those who choose to remain abstinent will get their wedding paid for.” Will it work? I’m not sure. But I’m gonna try anyway. My husband will just threaten them with a fate worse than death, I’m sure. Maybe the combo of the two will help!
Gayla McCord
Feb 4, 2008 at 11:35 am
I can’t even bribe my kids to get better grades. I’m afraid I’d be at a loss on the sex issue.
I worked a number of years as an STD Patient Advocate and saw so many teens contract STD’s it was scary. I’m hoping that by my being honest with my kids about what I’ve seen and stories I’ve heard that they’ll make wiser decisions.
I sure wish I was as skeery as my dad was. That would help :)
Maria
Feb 4, 2008 at 12:44 pm
I think that it is VERY important to have open communication with our children about our bodies, sex and related issues. I did not have that growing up, and I think that I made some poor choices along the way. Stupid choices really, but hopefully I can do a better job with my son.
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