Waging War on Terrible Parenting - is it the answer?
While I truly understand the frustrations of JohnMichael Davis in his opinion piece How does a society fight it terrible parenting? featured in The Tallahassee Democrat, I have to share my own opinions/observations on several of the key points he makes.
We hear reports of people locking their foster children in cages, about beatings or starving them and committing other heinous acts.
Perhaps if our welfare departments would stop hiring based on the rules of the EEOC and for the minimum salary they can get away with, maybe, just maybe our welfare departments can be filled with quality, capable public servants who take pride in their career and not see it as just a job. The children falling into the system are much more than just a job!
We have other parents who are feeding their children to death.
I love the idea of the obese paying greater taxes, higher insurance premiums and steeper co-pays. Granted, there are some that are obese beyond any control of their own. I understand some medications and health conditions causing it, but for those who have no other health condition besides their weight or those caused from their weight gain, hell yea, tax them! I know I’m going to make waves with that one, but it’s true! If there’s a painful penalty that has to be paid from being overweight, we might just see a much healthier America.
We have parents who are shocked that their 15-year-old can’t read, but then they blame the schools and the teachers. Where were they before the big discovery?
People need to stop having kids with the intention of having hired servants or school teachers play substitute parent. It’s the parents job to see to it that the kids learn - Teachers Teach! Parents should raise their children to be productive adults, not a thorn in the ass of taxpayers due to lack of proper education or developed skills that thrust them into the category if welfare worthy.
We have fast videos, fast video games, fast food, and now we have so many children with ADD and ADHD. Coincidence?
While I’m sure there are some valid cases of ADD and ADHD, I have to stand firm in my belief that this is one of the most overused diagnosis’s today. Parents don’t want to parent and schools don’t want to parent so they call the kid ADD and stick them on pills that make them more controllable.
I’ve got a story about that, but that’s another post for another day…
I expect someday that my tax dollars will pay for the incarceration of a lot of these children. Our prisons are already packed with the results of bad parenting. What are we doing about it? How do we change all of this? Are we going to keep spending tax dollars on community centers and after-school programs for at-risk youths? Are we going to search for more mentors? Are we going to create more parenting classes?
Perhaps we need to start with the people who decide to bring children into this world. Sadly, maybe it is time to require some kind of license for people to have children. I hope it doesn’t come to that.
I like the idea of a license, but realistically, that’s not feasible.
Some of the ideas I’ve had to encourage proper and effective parenting might be:
Offering some sort of tax benefit for parents of honor roll students. This might encourage parents to become more active in their children’s education.
Placing a limit on the number of children eligible for public assistance - only to be stretched for multiples - not single births. Basically, if you have more than two children, you’ll have to get a job to support them, because the taxpayers won’t!
Fine or tax parents for unexcused absences and for bad behavior in school - when parents start getting hit in the pocket book for their childs actions, maybe they’ll take more interest in the child. With there being so little to fear in the punishments schools are allowed to dish these days, somethings got to happen to make the parents care more and the children to be more concerned about consequences of their actions.
I’ve got plenty more thoughts where those came from, but that’s probably plenty to stir things up a bit. I don’t want to get in too much trouble with this *wink*
Thoughts? IF YOU were in the position of making decisions to help decrease terrible parenting, what would you do or recommend?
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Tags: parenting, taxes, teens, punishment, schools, terrible parenting
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POSTED IN: Parenting
16 opinions for Waging War on Terrible Parenting - is it the answer?
Linette
Oct 10, 2007 at 9:23 am
The sad part is in todays society, many times the people who should least have children often have the most.
jessica
Oct 10, 2007 at 9:45 am
i agree with a lot of what you say, especially fining parents for unexcused absences. Maybe if they get hit in the pocketbook, they’ll pay more attention to what/how their kids are acting. Also making a parent and child do community service together or something if the child is a terror in school might be a good idea.
Lindley Alston
Oct 10, 2007 at 11:27 am
I definitely agree that parents should be more accountable, but I am afraid that the fining scenario might just lead to possible child abuse situations if parents are ill-equipped to handle the stress or the financial strain. Community service is a good idea-spend some quality time discussing the issues!
tanyetta
Oct 10, 2007 at 12:39 pm
i need all the help i can get. ther are some days i feel like the worse mom. my son loves to hit his friends on the head. everything’s going great, playing nicely and then he’ll just reach over and bonk the kid on the head. *sigh* :(
Jessica
Oct 10, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Where do you even begin with bad parenting? People have children because babies are cute and cuddly. They tend to not think or don’t know or don’t care that parenting is about raising a child to be functioning, contributing part of society. It isn’t just something you do because you’re bored and your marraige is kind of boring so let’s take the next chronological plunge. Or, heck, forget the marriage, let’s just have a baby because it’s fun.
I don’t think people really think it through before they do it. (Pardon the unintentional pun.) Do they think about how they want to raise their children, the kinds of rules they want them to have, do the parents agree on said rules, where would they want them to go to school or would they want them to stay home, the kinds of things that they want their children to learn, do they want them to be introduced to the world that we tend to forget is out there - the arts, the history, the literature, etc. Are they going to want their children to go to college and how are they going to prepare them for that? How are they going to pay for it? What can they do to prepare their children for life because isn’t that what they are supposed to be doing?
I think it’s almost too late to start after they are already the parent. I’m sure behavioral changes can be made but people need to be made to think about this BEFORE hand.
Mysti
Oct 10, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Holding oneself accountable.
Plain and simple. Hold yourself accountable for the choices your child makes, the direction they take in life and their ability to succeed.
Take the time to teach your children from the day they are born to reach success through positive encouragement.
Provide a non-aggressive and non-hostile environment for your children to speak with you about the issues they face and offer them reasonable means to develop a course of action.
Be forthcoming and open about situations in life where you have made wrong decisions and offer encouragement for your child to make the right choice.
Teach the fundamentals about respecting life and oneself.
lace
Oct 10, 2007 at 4:18 pm
I really think everyone who gets pregnant (including fathers) should take parenting classes. Or be evaluated or something. I have seen some terrible parents.
Cozmo
Oct 10, 2007 at 10:50 pm
I think people that physically abuse their kids need to be prevented from ever having children again. After reading enough articles on the parents behaving badly blog I’ve decided that some people don’t deserve the kids they have, let alone the chance to have even more in the future.
Caryn
Oct 11, 2007 at 2:25 am
I definitely agree that parenting is hard work. I have a 3 month old and I NEVER knew the sacrifices I would have to make (already!). I think that is true of most parents. You don’t know what it’s really like until you’re smack dab in the middle of it. It makes me think twice about the number of kids we want to have because I want to make sure that my husband and I can care for them physically, emotionally, financially, etc. Our lives are forever changed albeit in a blessed way. But it’s something not to be taken lightly. Couples should do everything they want to do (career, travel, etc.) before having kids and then commit to raising them well.
Video Games » Waging War on Terrible Parenting - is it the answer?
Oct 11, 2007 at 8:43 am
[...] worthblog wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt… taxpayers due to lack of proper education or developed skills that thrust them into the category if welfare worthy. We have fast videos, fast video games, fast food, and now we have so many children with ADD and ADHD. Coincidence? … [...]
homemom3
Oct 11, 2007 at 11:25 am
I totally agree with ya on this one. My son was homeschooled and never had been in a school enviroment, when he went to school there were many issues. One being he was behind in reading, which can be easily remedied if given the chance. Teacher didn’t want to deal with it and had his special reading teacher set up an appointment with me to talk. She then asked how I felt about getting him tested for ADD. Okay I totally get it if my kid is bouncing off the walls, etc. However, this is more like a military school, you get lunch but you must stay in a single file line, sit in an assigned seat at lunch, no talking, must ask to toss out your trash, go back to your seat and wait for your teacher to get you. You then go back to class and wait for two hours before FINALLY seeing outside (recess) for 15 minutes. However if it is hot the teacher keeps kids in class. Call my kid that?! Umm, no it is you need to let them outside and if there is a real issue call me. I’m more than willing to come in and fix the issue.
Update: He never had an issue, he’s currently two grades further in school, reading is all caughter up and he’s making A’s. Woo hoo!
Sara
Oct 11, 2007 at 11:29 am
Love your thoughts and insight on some of today’s most pressing parenting issues! Now if we could convince those with the authority to get it done! Thanks for the chance to win!
Tracee Sioux
Oct 11, 2007 at 12:18 pm
1. Provide education and access to birth control so teenagers don’t have babies they have no way of caring for.
2. Provide health care for families so that fundamental need doesn’t add stress to chaotic family lives.
3. Stop having a costly war so mothers can actually afford to spend more time with their children versus working more to pay for the same gas and groceries.
4. Stop the devaluation of motherhood so that women and employers can see the critical, universal importance of parenting. This would include offering leave and flexibility for working parents.
5. Stop feeling guilty about our choices so we don’t give in to whining and crying, which turns children into monsters (the giving in does, not the crying.)
6. Stop expecting miracles from people (teachers) we refuse to pay a living wage.
There are complex problems - but they aren’t without solutions. Doing the same thing we’ve been doing for 8 years will only net us the same result. Time to do things in a fundamentally different way.
Gayla McCord
Oct 11, 2007 at 1:05 pm
Maybe all us commenting here should run a campaign for next election. We could straighten things up alright :)
Richelle F
Oct 12, 2007 at 1:27 pm
I agree with you, especially these statements:
“People need to stop having kids with the intention of having hired servants or school teachers play substitute parent.”
“While I’m sure there are some valid cases of ADD and ADHD, I have to stand firm in my belief that this is one of the most overused diagnosis’s today. Parents don’t want to parent and schools don’t want to parent so they call the kid ADD and stick them on pills that make them more controllable.”
Parents just need to take more responsibility for their children, I don’t know what the answer is, though:)
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Oct 13, 2007 at 8:08 pm
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