The Screamers Anonymous Meeting Will Now Come To Order
My mom was a screamer, I am a screamer, my kids are screamers. In our family, screaming is passed down like an antique family heirloom. Before starting my daily 5mg of Lexapro, I would have some days when my voice would be hoarse by nightfall (you know these days as “Summer Break”.) I am a lot calmer now, but screaming will always be something that I do. Partly because my house is always so full of rambunctious kids, cacauphonous cartoons and Hannah Montana music, that nobody can hear me unless I scream or use a bullhorn and partly because it is an innate reaction that I cannot seem to rid myself of.
During my trip to Target yesterday, I met a mom who recognized me from the show. She, like many of the moms I meet this way, told me what a relief it was to see another mom who screams. In fact, the majority of moms I’ve met, express that very same sentiment. Is there some taboo put on screaming? I know that it is not a positive parenting practice. But I hardly think that it is so horrendous a behavior that moms should be afraid to admit to it. Do we need to start some secret screamers society where moms can support each other in their efforts to stop screaming? I find it so odd that so many moms do it, yet they are all so secretive about it. I’m not proud that I have a screaming habit, but I’m certainly not so embarassed that I feel the need to keep it a big secret. Of course, I’m a rare breed who doesn’t keep much of anything a secret, hence my choice to be a writer!
Tags: bad habits, behavior, screaming, tabooRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Parenting
16 opinions for The Screamers Anonymous Meeting Will Now Come To Order
Maria
Apr 4, 2008 at 10:08 am
I don’t scream. I yell. :-D
Qtpies7~
Apr 4, 2008 at 10:53 am
I’m a screamer, yeller, whatever you want to call it. I need to stop, though. And here is why. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal, myself, but recently my 15 year old told me he, a super cocky, do anything daring, no fear jock, was scared to come home from school, dreaded it, because he knew I was going to yell at him for not doing his chores every day.
The obvious answer is ‘Do your damn chores and I wouldn’t have to yell!” But that doesn’t compute, apparently. So I had to listen to what he was saying. The yelling was beating him down. And he is a very strong personality. I need to find something else. I don’t want him to dread coming home. Home should be the safe haven for your soul. The place where you are loved no matter what and you can come home and sink into the couch and be safe against the world.
Qtpies7~
Apr 4, 2008 at 10:53 am
Oh, btw, I’m working on it, but it is much easier said than done!
Ashley
Apr 4, 2008 at 10:57 am
Hello, my name is Ashley, and I’m a screamer and a yeller..I’m also a scolder, a shamer, and a guilter..
It all started when my children decided they would rather tune me out in order to keep doing what they are doing rather than stop and acknowledge me.. In an effort to be heard, I slowly developed my screaming problem. But I have to admit, my screaming has become unmanageable.. Most of the time it makes me feel terribly guilty..to be honest it’s not effective - somehow they have simply developed a higher tolerance for noise. They have mastered the art of ignoring me.. especially when having extreme fun.. I’ve learned engaging in the same action over and over hoping to get a different response over and over is the addictive cycle of chaos..
I am so thankful to have found this group..
marye
Apr 4, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I don’t scream.
I grew up in a household where I was emotionally abused. Screaming was a big part of that. I am 48 years old and people screaming at me can reduce me to a trembling mass of tears.
We just don’t do that here. My husband and I do not yell at eachother, nor at the kids. We don’t count. We don’t threaten. I feel both of those things lead to screaming out of frustration. When a child is doing something to break a rule in someway, or being disobedient they are reminded. Then if they continue to do it they get three swats, or other appropriate displinary action depending on age and what they were doing.
It works for us. My daughter is pregnant with her 3rd, and she is not a screamer either.
CanadianMom
Apr 4, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Sometimes I yell just to get the attention, then speak. I have a good voice for that, it works in no more than 2 tries. A clap or two doesn’t hurt either.
Ashley
Apr 4, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Marye - you need to share your secret..
marye
Apr 4, 2008 at 2:36 pm
No secret. I just discipline before I get to the screaming point. :)
I have 8 kids, six are still home and we homeschool. If I had to scream to keep things in order it would be loud here!
Ashley
Apr 4, 2008 at 3:03 pm
But how do you make them listen to the warning?
Gayla McCord
Apr 4, 2008 at 3:05 pm
I’m an occasional screamer - but it’s only because I’ve cut way down - the kids have gotten older and know what will happen if they push me to that point. It’s not pretty and it’s liable to happen just about anywhere :)
I’ve been known to humiliate in public.
marye
Apr 4, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Ashley-
It is up to them if they listen or not. I can’t make them listen. If they choose not to listen then they have chosen the consequences. No variation on this.
BMS
Apr 5, 2008 at 9:59 am
I’m a screamer. And I try, I reallly try to not scream. I wake up every day vowing to keep my voice under control.
But dammit, when it is 7:15 in the morning, and the 6 year old starts kicking the 7 year old because the 7 year old is standing on the square of carpet that the 6 year old wants to stand on (you laugh -this happened, verbatim, 2 days ago), then screaming happens. I do a lot of trying to head things off before screaming, redirecting, etc. But when someone just lashes out and kicks their brother in the head with next to no warning, what do you do? I can’t send him to time out until he calms down - that can take 20 minutes if he is really in a snit. I don’t have 20 minutes in the morning. So I scream “KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW!”. Sometimes it works.
I don’t believe that kids will evaporate if they are occasionally screamed at. Like spanking, it is something to be minimized. But I will use anything necessary to make sure I am not raising a brat.
momof6
Apr 5, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Im a screamer, yeller , cusser and door slammer!!! Makes me feel better I guess. I know SuperNanny would say shame shame, because it only makes ME feel better and it makes the kids feel bad. I wouldn’t want anyone screaming at me. But, you know, they seem to have a way to get me to my screaming point about once every 20 minutes!!!! Help!
Ashley
Apr 7, 2008 at 8:49 am
BMS - that is too funny about that square of carpet dispute - Are your children secretly related to mine?..
BMS
Apr 7, 2008 at 10:08 am
Ashley - Could be, they are adopted…
The argument this morning was: “He wasted my play time by not moving his train out of the station fast enough!” Verbatim quote. While trying to get them to get their shoes on for school. Pass the blood pressure meds…
Ashley
Apr 7, 2008 at 10:33 am
lol
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