The Magic Number
How did you know that you were/were not done adding to your family members? Did you have a set number to begin with? Was there some sort of strategic planning involved, or did you play it all by ear?
It seems as though the opinions on a perfect number vary greatly depending on religion, upbringing and pure personal preference. I have heard people bad mouth my husband and I for having so many kids. By the same token, I’ve been chastised for choosing to stop procreating. If we lived in China, we’d be almost quadruple our allowed number of children. It seems ludicrous that the government is allowed to make that kind of decision for an individual, but they are communists, after all.
Some couples are told that having only one child, deprives that child of the joys of siblings. Though if you ask my kids, they would gladly be an only child. I never thought that we’d have as many as we did, though the thought of a big family was so cool after I got to know my husband’s family of fifteen. As much as the kids may fight and drive us insane, I love that we had the number that we did. Seven is our magic number. What is yours?
Tags: birth control, childbirth, children, family, pregnancy, procreating, sizeRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Catch All, Parenting Discussion
6 opinions for The Magic Number
melissa
Mar 31, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I’ve always had the # 5 in mind for me, although each time I’m pregnant I swear it’s the last time. After I hold that sweet precious baby I can’t imagine not having more. I think I would have more if I was younger, but being 34 and only having 4 at this point I think one more is as much as I can do physically.
Deb Ng
Mar 31, 2008 at 4:58 pm
I wanted at least two but I was told I could never have kids. My son was a miracle, number two wasn’t meant to be.
BMS
Mar 31, 2008 at 5:02 pm
This is one of those cases where (forgive me) I just hate you fertile people. I would love to add to my family. But after 2 international adoptions, and with a husband rapidly approaching 50 (the age after which a lot of adoption options turn off), I have very little hope of ever managing another adoption. If it wasn’t for the whole infertility thing, I would get him drunk and take advantage of him (kidding!)(sortof!). But another adoption at this point would mean economic hardship for us. Bums me out, but that’s life.
Laura
Mar 31, 2008 at 9:54 pm
I envy you soo much. There is so much love in a big family. My grandma had 16 brothers and sisters and I have over 200 cousins. I would love to have 8 but only have 1 for now.Im only 21.But you are one lucky girl for the love among your family. people just don’t understand the love and sacrifice that comes from a large family..
sharon
Apr 1, 2008 at 8:29 am
I am a mother of “advanced age” (sounds soooo much better than old). Anyway, I am 44 and have a 2 and 4 year old. Three was my magic number, but after my youngest was born, I had to take a rest, then stretched that rest out too long to justify getting pregnant again at 44. I think that I will always feel that something is missing in my family. I had my 3rd named and everything. I get so sad about it sometimes that I feel I even lost something that was never mine to begin with. And this is in no way taking anything away from my other two because they bring so much joy and blessings to each day. Now, when I read about others that wanted just 1 and couldn’t, then that makes me feel like a jerk for thinking this way b/c I am so lucky…but when you have that number in your head it sometimes sticks and when you don’t get to it, you feel a loss.
Heidi
Apr 1, 2008 at 10:38 am
I always wanted 4. Ended up with 6 (oops x 2! I guess). Can’t imagine life without the last 2. Never would trade a one of them (most days anyway). For me, finally got my tubes tied after #6. Pregnancy was getting so much harder and I didn’t think I could do another at the age of 34. Besides, we like even numbers too!!!
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