The Imperfect Need Not Apply
Among some of the negative feedback that I’ve received from last night’s episode of Supernanny, one of the most interesting was a comment that I was unfit to be giving out parenting advice. Apparently, if a person has to seek out help to ameliorate one’s parenting, it negates any knowledge that they may already have and then obtained from that source of help. I have a hard time understanding this theory.
If a doctor has to get some extra schooling to further his career or help hone his skills, should he be discredited for the knowledge that he does have? Does it mean that he is not capable of helping patients? I do not think that I am a clueless parent. Yes, we had issues that needed Jo’s guidance. I do not see how that makes me any less qualified to give my opinions on parenting. A lot of my posts include research and informative links. My writing helps to educate myself as well as the reader.
Yes, I am imperfect. My parenting is flawed at times. My imperfections are what drive me to educate myself, seek out solutions and then pass that information on to others. I’m sure that Dr. Spock had a few things that were less than perfect, yet he was revered as a great expert on the subject of child rearing. I’m no Spock, but I’m no Homer Simpson either! I have, however, had the occasional “Doooooough!” moment. But it doesn’t make me totally inept or unable to provide guidance based on the lessons that I’ve learned.
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74 opinions for The Imperfect Need Not Apply
Eliza
Mar 6, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Kadi- great show and I’d just let the comments roll off. You know some will think they can do a better job then others, ignore them. I was wondering though, have you got time by yourself yet? I know this is normally very hard to do with little ones like you and I both have and as many.
I think it shows you are human, otherwise you would be SuperSuperMom. :) Smile and have a nice day!
Jennifer
Mar 6, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I agree with you - I watched the show. I thought it was pretty good. I actually thought you guys were made out to look pretty good. Especially having 7 kids. It’s hard for me to relate, having just the one child, and a super laid back child at that.
I think that we all need to talk to people, and hear different opinions, in order to become better parents. Because someone needs advice doesn’t make them an idiot, it makes them smart. It’s the super troubled parents who refuse to even seek help - that’s a much bigger problem than someone who is not afraid to ask.
Ignore those people who make lame comments. I absolutely disagree with some of the posts you’ve done here - our parenting styles are pretty much off the charts different. That said, I still come here a lot, mainly because at least the posts here always make me think and consider the other side. That’s a good thing.
Ashley
Mar 6, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Kadi, from what we saw last night, you are not a terrible, or unfit parent! My goodness some of these people would pick apart Mother Theresa! Even at your worst moments, which you were brave enough to let the whole world watch, it was still apparent that you and your husband are loving, caring, capable people who were doing the best you could. And I’m so happy you got the opportunity to have the Supernanny come to your house! OMG, I think EVERY family in the country could benefit from that - especially the ones run by some of these people that are convinced they’ve got it right.. In my opinion if they think you and Kate Gosselin are bad moms they need to get a grip on reality. The older I get the only thing I become more and more sure about is that I don’t know near as much as I thought I did! I’m a work in progress. And I’m very skeptical of the people who seem to be sooooo sure and soooo quick to judge.
And if you were perfect - I don’t think we would even want to watch, much less learn anything!
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Kadi, perhaps it would help if you could explain what, other than the fact that you have popped out an inordinate number of children, makes you qualified to give parenting advice. Other than what will most likely be some very short lived changes that the nanny helped you impliment, as near as I can tell, there was not a lot you were doing well.
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 3:01 pm
“And if you were perfect I don’t even know if we would want to watch.”
Then we are in agreement, the thing that made her good for the show was her inept parenting.
Ashley
Mar 6, 2008 at 3:21 pm
No, Solo - we do not agree.. There’s a difference in having flaws and being unfit to give advice. I don’t believe Kadi’s on here ‘giving me advice’ anyway - I think she’s having an open forum for parenting ideas and information to be shared freely.
And the fact that you would use the word “popped out” to describe giving birth tells me you probably don’t have children/family/brain/soul ..and so…by your own reasoning are you qualified to even post on this page..? Hmm..
Every single blog I visit has these people who place all human beings in the “you’re perfect” category or the “you suck” category and it’s so stupid.
Tracee Sioux
Mar 6, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Oh Kadi - I know it’s super hard not to listen to the negative feedback (have you my Jon & Kate plus 8 group on blogfabulous?) but you shouldn’t. They’re just the mean girls from high school who became the mean mommies.
Your episode, I just watched this morning, made me tear up. You brought up some very real tough issues that you needed help with. You took constructive criticism well. I loved the ADHD content, the meet the mommies, the hearts to you kids, the husband/dad sexuality issue, the mini-mom issue. Those are all individually really hard issues and you were coping with them all at once - of course you needed help!
You were open to help and change and transformation and forgiveness and some education. THAT’s what makes good parenting - not getting it right all the time.
I thought it was wonderful. I got teary a few times. Bravo to you brave soul.
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I certainly don’t put Kati in one of two categories like you say. I’m sure she has some fine qualities and she does not suck as a parent in the sense that her kids should be taken from her. She is also not, from what I saw, a “good” parent by any stretch of the imagination. If she is not giving advice that is wonderful, but she is the one who came up with the article that seems to be saying she deserves to be giving advice. The parenting that I saw last night was somewhere between fair and poor.
I used the term popped out because that is exactly what she did (7 in 8 years), without consideration for how it would effect her children. Yet another sign that she is not the type of person that should be doling out advice on the subject.
Ashley
Mar 6, 2008 at 3:41 pm
the term ‘popped out’ is offensive to any woman who has ever GIVEN BIRTH. It takes seriousness and value away from the literal act of a woman growing a human being inside her body for 3/4 of a year, surviving nausea, what feels like a bladder infection, aches, pains, fatigue, swelling, stretching of skin to the point of leaving a mark, headaches, backaches, kicks and punches to all internal organs, and countless uncomfortable exams down there towards the end; the end being unbelievable act of PUSHING A HUMAN BEING OUT OF HER VAGINA (sometimes w/ no drugs. It is something to be respected and this woman has done it 7 times in eight years. Why would you think it’s your right to belittle that?
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Your right and I apologize. I should have never said she popped those kids out. I ammend my comment to:
what [Kadi], other than the fact that you “PUSH[ed]” out an inordinate number of children, makes you qualified to give parneting advice.
Now that, that is out of the way Ashley, perhaps you could explain to me what is so special about carrying offspring to term and then “PUSHING” it out? My german shepherd did this and immediately ate all her puppies.
Ashley
Mar 6, 2008 at 4:26 pm
what’s so special about it? Ask your mom.
Jennifer
Mar 6, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Holy crap solo, you did not just compare women to your german shepherd. That’s really not cool.
BTW I don’t think Kadi is giving parenting advice either. She always leaves the comments open for discussion. I think she’s more presenting her views and then seeing what people think. I’ve never read a post by her that says, “Do this or your kids won’t turn out well,” not once.
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Why? Are you too inarticulate to explain it?
Ashley
Mar 6, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Picture the hardest thing that you’ve physically or emotionally ever experienced and then multiply that beyond belief - and then factor in the crazy fact that we don’t actually eat our young; we love them, raise them, devote attention and time and money to them for the rest of our lives..sometimes with no help or support.
christy
Mar 6, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Kadi, I am totally shocked at the gall of some peeps. I really thought you wouldn’t get any negative comments. Everyone around here LOVED it and it helped some peeps around here too.
I can’t wait for my turn. Love, Christy
marye
Mar 6, 2008 at 5:25 pm
so….solo..I popped out 8 children, and had several miscarriages in my parenting career. I do parenting counseling as well as marital counseling…not because I have a degree but because having that many kids,a nd being married for 28 years gives me some pretty impressive OJT.
Just out of curiousity, are you a blogger, because, you know, I am not sure that if you are not a professional blogger you are equipped to give advice to Kadi about what she should and should not blog.
There are many things that I find galling. However, of all of the stupidity I hear, having someone be rude about the number of children a couple has is…hmmm…the ultimate in haughtiness.
Oh..and I have not eaten one of my children, yet. I am close to menopause so it looks like maybe I am in the clear there. No worries.
Mandy
Mar 6, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Hey, solo, is your name adrian…..
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Marye I have no idea how having a gaggle of children qualifies you. I also have no idea how remaining married for 28 yrs qualifies you. Statistically child abuse is higher in large families, so a bunch of kids, eaten or not is nothing in and of itself worth taking pride in. Many people stay in miserable relationships for their entire lives. The idea that you THINK these things are enough to qualify you tends to lend credence to the idea that perhaps you are not qualified in these areas at all.
As for the blogger question, I have not question her ability to blog or what she blogs. Likely she says and does many stupid things to draw attention to her blog. That makes sense and I take my hat off to her. However speaking to the question of whether she is qualified to give parental advice, I would say she has displayed a terrible lack of sophistication on the subject and is not qualified.
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Yes, but my friends call me Aids.
Gayla McCord
Mar 6, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Hey Solo, perhaps sometime you can walk across that pond and share your parenting expertise with us so that we could all learn by whatever it is that makes you expert enough to judge what is good and bad parenting.
Gayla McCord
Mar 6, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Oops, delayed thought… perhaps it was the poor upbringing you had that caused you to turn out to be a cold and callused adult that goes around saying mean and spiteful things to intentionally hurt people.
Growing up with bad parenting doesn’t make you an expert on what good parenting is - not by a long shot.
Ok, I’m done now.
joyce
Mar 6, 2008 at 7:06 pm
WOW I cant believe some kooky people. Kadi just let it roll off your back as you are a strong woman.
all of us at the shop watched the show we laughed and cried. you were the talk of shop today and will be for sometime you are a wonderful parent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! everyone said what a beautiful girl you are. keep up the good work. we love you aunt Joyce
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Look Aunt Joyce, I am not saying she is not a wonderful person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I don’t see why a person who makes money blogging and puts her family on national TV would expect something other than honesty. Unless you watched a different show than I did you saw a woman who has some major parenting deficiencies or maybe everyone is defending her because they are just as bad, but it was bad and the whole thing with Dad, as if they crossed some kind of frightening gulf to treat him with respect? I was a little sick by the end of it.
joyce
Mar 6, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Solow I am NOT YOUR aunt.
I did see the same show. you have a brain deficiency. you are not in this family and do not know the pain it caused our family when her dad came out.
Tracee Sioux
Mar 6, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Why don’t you show us how that “respect” thing goes solo?
No one is making you come to this blog and take Kadi’s parenting advice. You’re free to go where the perfect parents are to take advice from them.
sara l.
Mar 6, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Hi Kadi! Would you believe that I only caught the first 5 minutes or so of the show…We had unexpected company, and I was SO disappointed that I missed it! However, I want you to know that I really enjoy all of your parenting posts! There are NO perfect parents out there, so anything I can learn from fellow parent is most appreciated! Keep up the great work!
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 8:04 pm
I’m not looking for parenting advice Trace
Aunt Joyce divorce is always painful. Beyond that it is the small minded people like you and her husband who made the pain nearly unbearable.
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Gayla, Does it really take an expert to know not to scream incesently at your children, ADHD or not. Does it take an expert to know that one per year is utter and complete stupidity. I wonder what religion she is. Only religious fanatacism could cause someone to behave so recklessly and stupidly.
Jennifer
Mar 6, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Solo, screaming at your kids is not ok, that I agree with. But if memory serves, that was one of the issues Kadi was learning about. Some parents never learn how to be chill, at least she’s trying by learning new options. I bet other parents watching the show learned a new option too.
That said, to attack number of children choices and religion - well, now you’re just flaming. Try to be constructive in a way that serves to help, not degrade.
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Why is that flaming more than any other thing. People come here acting as though she has done the world a service by pushing out a kid every year. The opposite is true, and if it is her religious choice that leads her to make that poor choice, than that becomes a legitimate issue as well.
Mandy
Mar 6, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Solo, It saddens me to see such judgement and hate spewed toward someone you don’t know. I’m not going to lecture you about what you have or have not said that is right or wrong. I’m going to leave you with a verse, 1 “Do not say what is wrong in other people’s lives. Then other people will not say what is wrong in your life. 2 You will be guilty of the same things you find in others. When you say what is wrong in others, your words will be used to say what is wrong in you. 3 Why do you look at the small piece of wood in your brother’s eye, and do not see the big piece of wood in your own eye? ” Matthew 7: 1-3
Tracee Sioux
Mar 6, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Why then are you here?
To be mean?
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Trace and Mandy. Pull your heads out of your respective backsides. I am here because Kadi posted a blog with a question in it that I happened upon. Since I also happened to watch Supernanny for the first time ever last night I responded and since then the discussion has a life of it’s own. I don’t own it. I am here giving honest answers to the question she put forth while others are here just to cheer her on, for what?
Here is a verse that you can consider:
“When I was a child I spoke as a child I understood as a child I thought as a child; but when I became a man I put away childish things.” I Cor. xiii. 11.
Grow up. Neither she nor you are cheerleaders any longer.
Mandy
Mar 6, 2008 at 9:02 pm
The trouble he makes will return to him. When he hurts others it will come down on his own head. Psalm 7:16
Funny to tell a teacher from a very high poverty school who deals daily with children who are abused, and is a mother to three children of her own to pull her head out her backside. I didn’t cheer anyone on. I haven’t spoken against you. I encouraged you to quit spewing hate, and you spewed it my way. You can be accusatory and hateful all evening long, it doesn’t get your point across at all. It makes you look so uneducated and small. There are more constructive ways to initiate a conversation than to belittle someone.
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Thanks, I thought that was funny. All I have done is give an honest answer to Ms. Prescott and honest replies to the rest of you.
BTW I don’t subscribe to biblical teachings. Too accusatory and hateful for my taste.
Mandy
Mar 6, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Biblical teachings are too accusatory and hateful? That figures too. That explains a lot about your posts. I’ll pray for you tonight. Sad that the thought of abused children is funny to you. BTW- I was never a cheerleader, nor did I ever want to be. I’m sure that you are a very smart man, so good luck to you solo, wherever you find yourself in life……
solo
Mar 6, 2008 at 9:46 pm
And I’ll sacrafice a goat for you. We will effect each other equally.
What I think is funny is you with your head up your backside. Kind of sexy too.
Gayla McCord
Mar 7, 2008 at 5:59 am
@ Solo - It doesn’t take an expert to know not to scream, but it takes one hell of a mother to feel the guilt after it happens.
Mother’s are human. I have three teenage boys and there are times when I feel like the worlds biggest drill sergeant. Yet, if you ask my kids on any given day - they will tell you that as a mom, I rock!
If any of us were perfect we’d be walking on water - and that includes you.
This is more a place to discuss parenting, not give advice. Sure we will occasionally *reference* advice given by other supposed professionals and I’ll be the first to stand up and give all the reasons why it won’t work or why it will.
Did you mean incessantly? Honestly, if anyone wishes to find fault in others so easily, I really wish they’d at least use spell check as to not reveal the minor faults of their own. Just kind of ruins the whole lot of fun for me :(
What’s SO wrong with being nice and having a nice friendly discussion? Perhaps, Solo, you can answer that for me? I’m reading a book right now called “Handling Difficult People” and you are a classic “constant complainer” — If someone close to you says something like “I hope I get that promotion.” Do you respond with something like “you probably won’t get it, they’re probably give it to so and so down the hall for wearing the short skirts.” Would it EVER occur to you to respond with something like “awesome, I really hope you get it - you deserve it.”?
Do you KNOW Kadi in person? Is that where this is stemming from? Or do you just pick people at random from television and pick them apart because you can, safely from behind the internet?
Babylune’s Linking Friday
Mar 7, 2008 at 6:01 am
[...] was on it and now she has a question for everyone else: Does asking for help mean you are a bad parent? I don’t think so, let her [...]
Ashley
Mar 7, 2008 at 8:30 am
Solo:
I don’t think anyone here is cheering Kadi on for having so many children - it’s the fact that she has so many children, gets out of bed in the morning, still looks hot, has a successful blog going, has a clean house, gives them all rides and lunches and time and hugs, doesn’t beat any of them, hasn’t gotten overwhelmed and abandoned them, and mostly because she has enough courage to admit she needs help in some areas and does that in front of millions of people in the hopes of setting an example and helping other families.
The point of the show is not - everybody act like Kadi pre-Supernanny - the point is - take something positive to your own family from the positive changes Jo implements.
And yes, divorce is hard for everyone. But for a daughter or wife to discover that Dad/husband isn’t at all what he said he was IN ADDITION TO ‘he’s leaving us’ is brutal and extreme.
Tracee Sioux
Mar 7, 2008 at 8:35 am
Kadi - I recommend you take Kate’s approach to negative comments - DELETE.
Tracee Sioux
Mar 7, 2008 at 10:03 am
In Communist China couples are limited to 1 child. In America - Kadi is free to have however many children she chooses. She doesn’t need your permission or your approval Solo.
kadi
Mar 7, 2008 at 10:06 am
Sara l. ~ Did you get the Gratitude basket, yet? I shipped it out last Saturday.
Solo~ I would be more inclined to believe that your intentions are to simply answer a question that was posed in my post, if you were not over at my personal blog, bashing me as well. It would appear that you are one of those freaky people who become obsessed with people who you love to hate and feel compelled to try and ruin them. I pity you.
Jason
Mar 7, 2008 at 10:25 am
Is there anywhere online where we can watch the episode, or clips from the episode? ABC doesn’t have full episodes of Supernanny on it’s site.
Realmom
Mar 7, 2008 at 12:17 pm
I agree with most everything that solo says. Everyone that I know that watched this barbie doll wannabe on Supernanny saw right through her. She is the evil one. In fact, we believe she is a terrible parent, sitting at her computer all day blogging about herself and posting photos of herself in a bathing suit on the internet with every perv in the world out there. Kadi has some obvious emotional and psychological problems that she needed to fix before she started having babies. She is obtuse, ego driven, narcissistic and shallow. It is all about her. And what a sad, and inauthentic life for her children.
Gayla McCord
Mar 7, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Dang does anyone know where there’s a contest going on for the most comments on a blog in a month? I’m thinking if I piss off a few more here I might just win. :)
This is ridiculous people. Solo you’re acting like your somehow threatened by Kadi - what did she beat you out for homecoming queen or something?
Get over it - she was on the show, you weren’t and you’ve more than answered her question. You’re doing nothing but spewing hate and hurt now.
It’s no longer welcomed here. Be nice or leave please.
Ashley
Mar 7, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Realmom: What about Kadi made you think “Barbie wannabe?” She doesn’t have long blonde hair, didn’t have on an evening gown, wasn’t sitting around eating bon-bons or flying the friendly skies..
I suspect your real issue is w/ her weight. If so maybe you should get help w/ your own issues rather than blasting another mom/woman/human being for hers.
And who says moms can’t wear bikinis? What the heck’s wrong w/ that?
kadi
Mar 7, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Solo and Realmom should start their own haters club because they are both bashing me on both blogs. If they are so sickened by me then why do they insist on sticking around? I’m a wonderful mom, I’m a genuinely nice person, I’m successful in whatever I choose to do in life, I care about others and always try to help others, I have an awesome marriage, a nice body, a nice house and a great life. Noone of your hateful words will ever convince me otherwise. If it is the thousands of other people who read this blog and my blog, who you are trying to bring over to the dark side, don’t waste your time. I am lucky. I do have a lot of people who love me and stick up for me. That is what happens when you are a genuinely good person. Who is sticking up for you guys? Nobody. It is the two of you pitiful humans who are bashing and that is it. Go find one of those hater forums where you can join the other hateful, self professed perfect people, in trying to make a good person look bad. It is not going to work here or over at Seven Seeds. Have a nice life.
Jason
Mar 7, 2008 at 1:23 pm
If I can interject a male opinion here (am I the only guy here??) I think that Kadi and her family are beautiful people. Kadi looks WONDERFUL for a woman who has given birth to 7 children. And the attacks she has received since the show aired are merely other people’s jealousy shining through. Gayla hit the nail on the head…….Kadi was on the show and you weren’t. Jealousy is the basis for those personal attacks against her. Instead of being jealous, people should try to improve their own lives rather than coming down on others. I think this is all stuff we learned as children ourselves, right?? Play nice or don’t play at all!
Now, did anyone record the show or know where we can watch the show online? I missed most of it and would love to see it in it’s entirety.
Gayla McCord
Mar 7, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Jason, thanks for your input! It’s truly valued and you are a brave soul for speaking up.
I wish I knew where to find the full length shows. I’ve tried emailing the main website before and got no response. We’ll just have to catch it in rerun or hope someone puts it on YouTube.
In the book I’m reading on difficult people - constant complainers find only faults in others. They can’t stand for others to be better then them, look better then them - or have attention they deeply crave.
I have to wonder if Solo’s husband didn’t have similar comments to those of my husband — my husband said “damn, Kadi is hot” and you know, he was right! I’m not jealous - I agree with him.
Just because my husband is married to me doesn’t mean he’s DEAD - I like the fact that he looks at other women and comments on their beauty - because when he tells me I look beautiful I believe him.
Jealousy is a terrible thing and it makes people look VERY silly when they act out on it.
I hope Kadi keeps letting this venom roll over her back
Realmom
Mar 7, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Why would I be jealous of someone so pathetic that she has to find friends from far away (not her own neighbors for goodness sake, not real people) to stick up for her? I have no issue with her weight. She can be any size she wants to be. She is a barbie doll wannabe because she is still stuck in the wanna be cheerleader role that only stupid girls fall for in the first place. Nice that she brings up her body, as does Jason. I say, you should stick with that rather than trying to sound intelligent. As for moms wearing bikinis, not a problem. You want your mom to post herself on the internet in a bikini? Something sort of sad about that concept, don’t you think? I know a million Kadi’s. Our culture is saturated with the poor things now. She just hit a nerve with me and many women that I know because, don’t forget folks, she has put herself out there now. It isn’t just fan club life in the real world. I truly truly believe she needs help. I honestly feel sorry for her children. I think she is a lost person trying to find meaning in all the wrong places……not a hatemonger, just speaking the truth.
Gayla McCord
Mar 7, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Keep tellin’ yourself that realmom. Can you please be done here? We’ve well established that we all love Kadi and you’re not going to change our minds any time soon. So take the ramblings someplace else. Seriously.
kadi
Mar 7, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Since Realmom seems so stuck on my wearing the cheer uniform being symbolic of a wanna be barbie type, let me just pop that bubble. Those uniforms were in a box in my garage. They asked me to take them out for a fun activity. Then Jo asked me to try them on because she thought it was amazing that I could still fit into them. THEY are the ones who made an issue of the cheer thing. I had not even seen those outfits since I packed them away ten years ago.
I’m glad that there are a million Kadis out in the world. That means that there a million moms who have good hearts, a sense of self worth, a vision, a true love for their children, and a desire to do good in this world. It is all the “realmom” type out there that are truly disturbing.
Okay. i’m done. I’m going to play Play Dough with the kids now that they are up from naps. Maybe you should go do something more beneficial to your own children, Realmom and Solo, instead of sowing such hatred.
Ashley
Mar 7, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Matter of fact, as long as the pictures wasn’t vulgar I wouldn’t care at all! I have a picture of my mom in her early twenties in a strapless one piece that I LOVE! Her hair is long and flowy and she looks vibrant and happy and sexy! I treasure it.
If Kadi is the shallow, brainless bimbo you say she is - why did she have kids (the most self-less, time consuming, image straining activity you can possibly engage in)? Not just ‘kids’, seven of them!
I was never a cheerleader - but surely you can admit that comment about them all being stupid was ridiculous!
I would agree that our culture is obcessed w/ image and beauty and plastic surgery…But I didn’t get that impression from Kadi. Yes, she was thin and pretty, but I didn’t see her extremely fixed up or inappropriately dressed on any part of the episode. Don’t we all wear jeans and t-shirts? Don’t hate on her because maybe she looks better in hers than you do in yours.
Also, I thought solo was a man this whole time.
HA!
Realmom
Mar 7, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Gayla,
Last post, honest. I am glad you can keep telling yourself that Kadi. I am glad you have all these anon people out there rooting for you. I am happy that you feel like you have it going on. I am just a reminder that you are transparent to some. You need to read some Socrates. You need to think about ethics. I never sow hatred. In fact, most people would be shocked at the things I have said in these posts to you. In a way, I even am. But, your dishonesty is that compelling. Your narcissism that disturbing. And your children’s future that important.
Ashley
Mar 7, 2008 at 2:02 pm
wow! I’m going to have to SLOW DOWN typing - typo after typo up there!
solo
Mar 7, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I am a hater because my answer to Kadi’s question is an emphatic, no, you should not be giving parenting advice. Whatever.
Loni
Mar 7, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Sorry if I posted twice.
Loni
Mar 7, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Now that I got that off my chest…
The main reason for writing this reply is to share my personal connection to Kadi and point out how judgmental children are.
I went to High School with Kadi, I am sure she has no idea who I am.
She was a few years older than me, she was a cheerleader and I played sports (lol and no I am not a lesbian, sorry that is always the response).
Of course my view of cheerleaders was always “Stuck up” but as I befriended several of them in my grade I began to realize they are no different than me. Probably a little more confident since they have to perform with little skirts in front of the whole school and community.
I saw Kadi as a friendly outgoing person, she always said hi when you passed her in the halls and she was always smiling.
For someone to hold a “Front” on the outside while suffering so much pain inside is admirable. I too have suffered deep pain in my life and actually to this day not too many people know. I know how hard it is to function when everything seems to be going wrong. It just goes to show how much we judge people before we even get to know them.
Loni
Mar 7, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Ok, let me first start by saying all the people that are on here just to shoot off negative comments NEED TO GET A LIFE!
Say what you feel and move on! For the rest of you fueling the flame, IGNORE THEM! I have always been taught that idots like that are looking for a reaction and if you don’t give them one they have nothing to do but talk to themselves.
I laugh at them as they try to make their own fun at others. These are the people that are starving for attention, they are jealous of others or they wouldn’t care.
Jealousy can be defined as followed 1 : a jealous disposition, attitude, or feeling (Jealous : hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage)
Most of the time we create negative action towards people we don’t know because we see a threat, or we see that someone else is enjoying something we want or can’t have.
Loni
Mar 7, 2008 at 4:49 pm
I stumbled across Kadi’s blog from a mutual acquaintance from high school and I find myself reading it everyday. It is HER life that she is sharing with us, I don’t know how anyone has the authority to tell her what she is doing is wrong or right, IT IS HER LIFE!
If you don’t agree with it, why are you here? Why do you visit? Why do you read? Why do you judge?
She is doing something you are not. She is sharing her personal stories, thoughts and life. When did that become Taboo? I suppose a posing in your bathing suit is far more disrespectful than flashing your cooter to the media right? I mean what Mother should be showing off her body? Mothers are old, fat and ugly right? NO!!! After 7 kids she can go shopping in that bathing suit for all I care, it is more motivation for me to get off my lazy a$$ and work out and I don’t even have kids! We should be praising her for having the confidence to show her body and not being ashamed. Since when are moms scolded for looking great and managing a home full of kids!
Loni
Mar 7, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Some people have criticized her for her home, WTF? it is also wrong for a family of 9 to have a nice home? Hesperia is in the desert with lower housing costs! This is not a million dollar home people! (lol unless they over paid?) She is away from her friends, I have lived there and I wouldn’t be knocking on the neighbors doors to make friends either! I don’t blame her and besides when does she have time? She is also being criticized for blogging??? What is wrong with people!!!!! Ever heard of a Journal? That is her Journal. So she shares it with us, WE READ IT RIGHT??? The kids are napping, what is she supposed to be watching them like some psycho as they sleep? Let up on her! She is a normal person just like you and me just with an additional head count. Team Kadi!
Loni
Mar 7, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Sorry everyone. my posts seemed to have gotten all rearranged!
:)
solo
Mar 8, 2008 at 1:09 am
Your brain too.
Cynthia
Mar 8, 2008 at 2:46 am
OK, I’m seriously getting sick of the ” You made the choice to have 7 kids in 8 years so deal with it…” blablala.
I have not yet read all 2 years of her blog, but from what I have had the chance to read she didnt CHOOSE to have a kid per year as much as she was well, Blessed? Gifted? Stuck with? whatever your choice is. The problem isnt that Kadi is stupid, or a whore, or some sort of a freak. Shes a healthy young woman whos body is aparently working quite well by nature’s standards, even if it seems extreme to our 2.3 children per household minds. Over the years Kadi has made mention of birth control and that it didnt work for her. Kadi was even seriously internally injured by an IUD for Christ sake ( no pun intended). SO quit yapping that she did NOTHING to prevent the pregnancies, whatever she did she did with love in her heart and sometimes well, it isnt enough, some higher power had a child that needed a mother, no fault of hers.
Until you personally know someone who has been blessed with above average fertility its easy to throw stones and say ” You CHOSE a big family…” when sometimes it really isnt so. My sister in law had 4 kids in 4 years, and this was with breastfeeding, condoms, and the pill after each one. She has a college education, so its not that she didnt understand the directions. All she could do was smile and accept each child as the gift they are, even tho she wants to scream some days. Her husband finally got a vasectomy, even tho shes in her 20s, which haunts her alot, but she wasn’t going to choose a sexless marriage in order to preserve her physical and mental health. Some religions may disagree with this, but its her choice.
*hugs to Kadi*
BMS
Mar 8, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I did not see the show, so I cannot comment on what was there. But I do have to say, one cannot put oneself out there on TV, the internet, and everywhere without expecting some negative feedback. Which is why I personally would not do what you did.
Gayla McCord
Mar 8, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I personally don’t have a problem with getting negative feedback from my online and public existence. What I DO have a problem with is people who spew hatred for entertainment purposes.
It’s one thing to have a friendly and thought provoking debate and exchange of differences, but to just be all out mean - These people should be thankful they don’t live anywhere near me. I have a tendency to full out humiliate them in public by *loudly* and with large audiences - pointing out what horrible, vile humans they are to do such things.
Frankly - I think people should make a point to call out mean spirits frequently
Mandy
Mar 8, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Here is the bad thing, Gayla. They will forever hide behind the internet. They will not disclose their blog page, or disclose real information about themselves. They aren’t brave enough. And, the more we leave posts about them, the more snotty comments they will leave….
BMS
Mar 9, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Not everyone has a blog or a web page you know…
And it isn’t exactly good practice to put full identifying info on the internet anywhere…
Not that this means you should spend your time going around being rude, but some ‘hiding behind the internet’ is a combination of common sense privacy measures and a lack of internet know how.
Ashley
Mar 10, 2008 at 9:19 am
I knew a nurse once that had problem with protection like that. She had one ‘accident’ after another and she and her husband were trying everything from pills to shots to condoms - one of them was very fertile and it just happened that way. And for goodness sakes - she was nurse - I’m sure she wasn’t just ignorant to the process. Some people are just very fertile. I think they’re a big, sweet family.
solo
Mar 10, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Whatever. Nobody has an accidetn per year for 6 years straight. She has seven kids under eight because she is an ignoramous.
What are you saying you would do if you lived near me Gayla. Picket my house with a sign that says mean guy inside? Your a joke.
Eliza
Mar 10, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Accident? I’ll agree with that, mine weren’t accidents, they just happened. BTW- I have three kids that happened with and I WAS on birth control of one form or another, so it does happen.
CanadianMom
Mar 11, 2008 at 10:31 am
I wish I could have 7 kids. That is a blessing, Kadi. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Although I dont envy you when they get bigger and need designer clothes and laptops for school. Or college, yikes. I only have 2, but I sometimes borrow my friends kids, and sometimes my neice and nephew, just to shake things up.
As a mom, I think that having children at all makes you competent to give advice. There are people out there that pile degrees on top of degrees, but BEING THERE, and actually parenting, is far more informative then sitting in school for a dozen years. Any mom can tell you that. Different things work for different children, so not all advice will work for all children, but I know first hand, almost anything is worth a try.
Its all a learning experience. And a team of moms all brainstorming on a blog is better than 1 mom trying to hack it on her own.
Just MHO.
Ashley
Mar 11, 2008 at 10:48 am
Very true
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