Love For The Earth = Hatred For Humans?
I was part of a group discussion on a parenting forum, not too long ago. We were all sharing tips and just generally gabbing for the sake of enlightenment. The subject of vehicles came up. I was asked what type of vehicle I drive. I knew that the question was a loaded one, but answered it anyway. Bracing myself for the verbal abuse I would surely receive from all of the eco friendly mamas, I answered, “A 15 passenger van.” Immediately, the rude backlash began. “Why?” “Do you really need that big of a van?” “Don’t you care about the environment?” The conversation sure does get ugly when politics, religion and Oprah are involved. Thank God I was smart enough to keep my opinions on Oprah in a quiet, inaccessible part of my mind. Otherwise, I might have been completely shredded by the pirana like chompers of the hybrid driving, Oprah loving women in the chat room.
After a long sigh, I decided to just try and laugh it off, then change the subject. I know from experience how fruitless these types of conversation can be. They are a no win situation. I wasn’t in the mood to call a draw, so I opted for the “Let’s change the subject” maneuver. One particularly opinionated hippie mom wasn’t biting. “I suppose you also buy your kids name brand clothes from Old Navy and The Gap!” She snottily chimed in. After I told her that the correct name of the store was just “Gap,” no “The” included, I asked her to elaborate. Now this lady had piqued my interest. She said that with as many little eco sucking leeches as I had, I should be trying to give back to the earth as much as possible. I should be dressing my kids in clothing made of recycled hemp. I should make them myself. I should only buy organic food, grown on farms who donate proceeds to worthy causes. I should have solar energy panels installed. I should only use recycled water outside. I should….yadda, yadda, yadda.
I heard every word that she preached, but after her reference to my spawn as “leeches,” I stopped caring. Maybe my kids do use the earth’s resources. Yes, they live off the fruits of the land. Yes, we drive a van that costs 98 dollars to fill up with fossil fuel. Yes, I shop at Old Navy and Gap. I do what I can for the environment and do not feel guilty that I am not an overzealous, tree hugging, picket organizer (no offense to all of you who are.) I barely have the time and energy to do the little things, like cooking, laundry, cleaning and nurturing my children, as it is. I’m lucky to be able to squeeze in a little tree hugging now and then, but when I do, it is done in love. This lady and her nasty name calling was just trying to piss me off and she succeeded beautifully.
“You know what?” I asked, mounting my own pulpit. “Maybe we aren’t the most conservation minded folks, but we do what we can. The last thing I need to hear is criticism about how I’m not doing enough. Oh, and let me put this as nicely as possible…Your bitchy way of recruiting more soldiers for your cause is not a very good one. You suck at using people skills. Maybe you should spend less time with your arms wrapped around trees and a little more in charm school, you cow!” Her response was quick, “That was putting it nicely?” I laughed. “Yeah, I’m about as good at being nice as I am about saving the earth.” She was highly offended and I could care less. Let this be a lesson to all of us. When attempting to make your noble cause look worthy, refrain from likening people and their children to blood sucking invertebrates. It will never end well!
Tags: chat rooms, conservation, debate, environment, humor, momsRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Parenting
12 opinions for Love For The Earth = Hatred For Humans?
marye
May 19, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Kadi- I have heard this too. :(
In fact one woman approached me in the middle of a store when I was pregnant with #7 and had 1-5 with me…she cussed me out in front of them, and let us know how we were ruining the earth..and leeches to society.
We are very environmentally conscious. Having alot of kids, or driving a bog car is not the problem, necessarily. Good stewardship is imporant to me as a Christian, and it needs to be hand in hand with love, compassion and graciousness.
I just told her that we were not trying to overpopulate the world, just outnumber the idiots…and then I asked her how many kids she had. :)
Fashion Paramedic
May 19, 2008 at 8:30 pm
How is this supposed to help the “green” cause? Bitching people out for having SUVs and more than 2.2 kids is soooo not the way to go. They should be helping when asked how you can do your part. I’m new to the whole “green thing” too–I’ve cf’d our whole house and started a compost bin; we recycle and have gone to re-using our grocery bags too. But we commit mortal sin buy driving a Nissan Titan. *sigh* it’s never enough . . . at least some of us are trying!
BMS
May 20, 2008 at 6:19 am
Marye, driving a ‘bog’ car sounds very green…and slimy… :-)
If you have 7 kids, you need a big car, I concede that. I personally don’t understand people like, say, my next door neighbor, who has 1 child, and an 8 person SUV, which she drives to work over a distance I can literally walk in 10 minutes. That makes no sense to me.
If you have 7 kids (you need vodka delivered to your door in crates) there are other things you can do to help the earth. Organize them to clean up a local playground. Get them to help garden. Hand down clothes from the older ones to the younger ones. Set the bossiest of them to make sure everyone turns off lights. Buy efficient appliances. Everyone can do something, but you are right - no one is going to be swayed by name calling.
Ashley S.
May 20, 2008 at 8:03 am
Absolutely, a family of nine is what the suv is intended for.. not the family of three! How on earth would you even fit your family into a smaller vehicle? I don’t buy that whole overpopulating the earth argument.. I think the earth can sustain all of us (no matter how many we are) as long as we all start taking steps to conserve and be responsible. Every family cannot possibly live completely green all the time.
We’ve started doing some really simple things - nothing labor intensive (besides the sewing machine and the bolt of hemp fabric..lol). I’ve started making a sweep through the house in the mornings and before we go to bed to turn out lights (and usually the a/c).. I’ve started trying to use more natural products to do most of my light cleaning, we’ve changed light bulbs, and we’ve stopped making tons of unecessary trips.. We also started composting and planted a couple of trees in the yard. (more for decoration - but hey, that still counts I think)
Here’s the thing though, sometimes I hear extreme environmentalists passionately talking about the plight of this innocent animal or that one and I think “Whaa?” Let me explain: I love animals, I love my dog, I think animal cruelty or animals in danger of extinction are terrible issues that do need to be addressed, BUT there are tons and tons of innocent children around the world that have no home either, some are being abused, some are starving, and they need help just as badly. Why is it more politically correct to throw money at animal/environment issues than to reach out to PEOPLE?
Gayla McCord
May 20, 2008 at 9:09 am
It’s not like your kids are cows creating toxic gases with their poo for crying out loud.
I’m really trying to go as green as a can - it is a learned behavior and not one that happens overnight.
Old habits ARE hard to break and perhaps those who do all the bitching should consider bitching less and using up more of the oxygen that’s needed by our multitude of kids :P
Geez - what people won’t bitch about.
Bridget
May 20, 2008 at 9:55 am
it was probably my sister in law! or the lady that threw eggs at my car!
BMS
May 20, 2008 at 1:21 pm
“It’s not like your kids are cows creating toxic gases with their poo for crying out loud.”
Have you ever BEEN to our house after Burrito night? I beg to differ. And I’ve only got two kids. With 7, I’d have the EPA on my doorstep.
Ashley S.
May 20, 2008 at 1:43 pm
How exactly did this go down? Did it come out of nowhere? I wouldn’t know how to react to an attack like that..
Dexie
May 22, 2008 at 2:21 pm
this made me think of what my husband was reading online this morning. He uttered on the phone “Human Race Needs You”. I said, “ME? , well then they’re screwed”.
I’m pretty sure the Human race bit means living eco-friendly exclusively. My family are not that far into it yet. We do what we can, recycling and not wasting food and such.
Some people can be so uptight when trying to make a point. They should learn that it’s a turn off and they’re just discouraging people.their cause.
Ashley S.
May 23, 2008 at 6:54 am
Absolutely, If I were Kadi I would be seriously tempted to drive around this woman’s house alone in her huge gas-guzzling van, drinking plastic bottled water and spraying aerosal airfreshener out the window yelling what’s up now?!
Heather
May 26, 2008 at 12:32 am
From one “tree hugging, hybrid driving, hippie” to my polar opposite…rock on Kadi! Drive your 15 passanger van and dress you kids in Gap all you want…Your kids deserve the elbow room (and it helps to ensure that everyone gets home with little pain from siblings) and who doesn’t desreve nice new clothes? As long as you don’t mind me driving my hybrid and making my kids clothes, I don’t mind you driving your van and buying new outfits for the kids. I believe you do your part when and where you can…I think we can still get along.
Janice Hernandez
Jul 30, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Hey, sis! Funny story! I can’t believe how some people feel that they have a right to express (aka push) their opinions onto others, especially when its wasn’t invited in the first place! Ugh! (Um does that apply to family too?) Anyway, I’m all for going green, eating organic, recycling, etc…(we do what we can too) however, I totally understand your sitch having to have such a large vehicle. I mean, what, are you supposed to walk everywhere? Stupid lady! I’d never have the guts to lash out like that. I’m glad you stuck up for yourself. You are doing a great job with your kiddos. We just love them! We loved having you all at Nathaniel’s party.
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