Father-less Day
What happens when your child comes home from school, holding a Father’s Day gift that he made in class, without a father to give it to? Do you simply tell him that he needs to throw it away, because he doesn’t have a father? Do you get angry at the teacher for being so insensitive to the kids who do not have fathers? Do you suggest giving the gift to another man who your child looks up to?
I’m wondering these things because it is a reality that many American families have to deal with, every June. With divorce rates and teen pregnancies so high, many families are left without a father. I’m curious to know how they deal with a day like Father’s Day and the void that so many children must feel. I know that the absence of a father is something that single mothers deal with year round, but certainly, it must be worse on a day designated to celebrate a man who (in their situation) doesn’t care to be around or has passed away.
If this situation applies to you, please let me know your opinion on the topic. I know it must be difficult to deal with and I feel empathy for those who fall under this category. I myself, have had a hard time with Father’s Day since my parent’s divorced and my dad moved so far away. Furthermore, my Grandpa (who became my father figure after the divorce) went to heaven in February. It will be a tough day for me, as I will be delivering my Grandpa’s card to his grave. I am blessed, however, to be able to celebrate the wonderful father that my husband is to my children. Many are not so blessed. To all of you who will live through tomorrow, fatherless, my prayers and thought are with you.
Tags: celebration, children, death, divorce, Father's Day, fathers, grandfathers, life, mothersRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Family Holidays
6 opinions for Father-less Day
Kam
Jun 14, 2008 at 11:38 am
I grew up without a father and it was never a bad thing. We never were sad, nor did my teachers make me make fathers day gifts. It wasn’t a big deal to my family. We were able to ignore everything going on around us.
Maybe it is different for other families, but for mine it was sort of something that we didn’t even notice. And if we did, we just celebrated my mom instead for raising four kids on her own. Turn something negative into a positive.
Sandy
Jun 14, 2008 at 2:20 pm
My father’s been gone almost twice as long as I knew him, but the day is still a poignant one for me.
To the parent with the child with the father’s day gift, how great it would be to match it with a father without a child, or lacking that, delivering it in person to an assisted care facility.
joyce
Jun 14, 2008 at 4:27 pm
on the flip-side of Fathers day…. we use to buy our dad gifts/cards for mothers day. love aJ
Gayla McCord
Jun 15, 2008 at 6:38 am
My boys went through this for a number of years following my own divorce. Their dad wasn’t around much at all until recently. During those times, I encouraged the boys to give the “Father’s Day” gifts to the best father they knew. They would sit down, think about all the things they liked about the ‘dads’ around them and we’d decide on who would get the gift.
I thought this was a good lesson in recognizing the “good” traits in some fathers as opposed to all those lacking in their own dad.
Seems to have worked quite well. I’ll let you know in another 10 years or so though ;)
Around the Channel
Jun 15, 2008 at 2:20 pm
[…] see what’s going on around the Lifestyles Channel…. Kadi asks what to do about Father’s Day when there’s no father around. Go share your […]
ALyse
Jun 17, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Mmm, I grew up in a divorced family. We use to spend the say with dad. But for fatherless families, I’d make cards for grandpas, father figures, or even Mom since the mom is the mother and father figure. But either way it’s a really hard day to deal with I imagine
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