Dr. Phil on Wet Nurses
Apparently I missed a pretty exciting Dr. Phil Thursday. Dr. Phil actually showed his obvious brave side when he brought up the topic of Wet Nurses.
Via transcript from memory of The Lactivist:
DR. PHIL: All right. Another topic that gets people talking, and this one just, I got to tell you, this kind of creeps me out, is the use of wet nurses popping up in social circles. Can’t breast-feed your baby? No problem. Call one of your friends who’s breast-feeding and see if they can do it!
Ok, I have to admit the first image that comes to mind here is Rebecca De Mornay starring as a vengeful nanny out to destroy a naive woman and steal her family in the 1992 thriller - The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. Remember mom walking into the nursery to find the nanny breastfeeding the baby?
BUT - like I said, that’s the first thing that came to mind — now I’m interested in hearing what you all think about the whole “wet nurse” trend and women mixing in social circles doing the baby swapping during feeding time thing.
Anyone?
I do think Dr. Phil brought up a very valid point that should be considered though — what happens when that kid grows up, finds out they were loaned out or played a game of nipple swap with their mothers friend or a neighbor? Do mothers consider what impact that could possibly have on their child?
Just curious is all. I’m honestly not quite sure what to think about this topic yet and I’m trying to reserve opinion until I have a more solid basis to build it on.
Tags: breast-feeding, breastfeeding, dr.-phil, lactating, mother, wet-nurseRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Parenting
43 opinions for Dr. Phil on Wet Nurses
Summer
Apr 8, 2007 at 7:14 pm
Dr. Phil is an idiot. I’m just saying. LOL
He maeks it seems as if women are just handing their babies off to whom ever is near by, when the reality is much different. The women are very close, often sisters or cousins or very close friends. In the Muslum faith if you nurse a child that is not your own you become like that child’s mother. None of your children could marry that child because they become siblings. It is a very close bond that is created.
100 years agot there was no formula. If you were unable (or unwilling) to breastfeed your choices were to find a wet nurse or watch your baby starve to death. When it comes to breastfeeding there is nothing sexual, or gross, or obscene despite Dr. Phill’s constant attempts at making it seem so. I have never met a person who was nursed by someone other than his or her mother who had any negative feelings about it. In fact many feel blessed that their mothers were able to give them breastmilk in some form rather than formula.
According to the WHO the best foods for an infant in order of most ideal to least is
1. Breastmilk from mother
2. Breastmilk from milk bank
3. Breastmilk from another woman
4. Formula.
Gayla
Apr 9, 2007 at 6:10 am
Wow, people have actually talked to you about having been breastfed by women other then their own mother? That’s amazing. I’ve found that most people don’t want to talk about having been breastfed at all.
It would be interesting to see the results of a survey conducted by someone OTHER than WHO (and other then the formula makers for that matter) on what adult children think as far as having been breastfed versus not.
From my own small world, I’ve seen mothers who breastfed one child and not the other and the one who wasn’t turned out to be more independent and successful in business while the other is still living at home at 25.
I know that’s no scientific study, but you can see what, in my life, I have to base my opinions on.
If you know of a study that’s TRULY UNbiased, I’d love to check it out. I’m kinda thinking the WHO offers up biased material.
Summer
Apr 9, 2007 at 7:28 am
Actually, I’ve never seen a WHO study on what adult people think, what I was quoting by WHO is in what order the foods for infants are ideal. And yes, many women have talked to me about breastfeeding. When you come to them from a place of understanding and support and not judgement its amazing what women will talk to you about. Visit Mothering.com, or C2PP.com and check out the breastfeeding boards. Or just hang out with breastfeeding moms and leave your assumptions and judgements at the door. When confronted with people who have negative responces we’ll often shut up just to not hear it.
And if we’re going to compare experiences my oldest son was breastfed past a year and is bright, independent, and very social. My nephew was weaned far before a year and has ADHD, is bipolar, and has aggressive tendancies. All of which studies have found that a lack of DHA in the diet can cause in children. Breastmilk has DHA, until very recently formula did not.
Kate
Apr 9, 2007 at 8:41 am
The World Health Organization is biased? Not sure how they could be…I would be wary of say what, “Enfamil” or “Similac” has to say, but what is WHO gaining from women breastfeeding?
When my daughter was 2 months old and I had to leave her with a friend (who just so happened to have a son one month older than her) I left her with a bottle of breastmilk that she refused to take. She was hungry and my friend breastfeeds her son, so offered my daughter her milk. My daughter refused it, but honestly…do you know which cow supplies your milk? Does it have to be a specific one? Is it gross if it is not the cow you thought it was? I hate to compare moms to cow…but both produce milk specifically for their child/calf. The odd thing is that we have changed the norm and made cows produce far more milk than “normal” and they supply the supermarkets with the white stuff in bottles.
Now you tell me which is weirder, feeding a hungry baby milk that is specifically designed for their best development or formula that is mass produced in a plant that can never quite attain the perfect balance of nutrients and leaves the baby gassy and constipated?
Dr. Phil should be helping women to demystify breastfeeding. It is not sexual, it is not “dirty”, it is not wrong…mammary glands are a part of all mammals…they are there to feed our young. I would hope that if you were lactating and saw a starving baby on the side of the road you would think…hmmm…I should feed this baby milk since I can make milk, not…this isn’t my baby, it can’t have MY breasts.
Robin M
Apr 9, 2007 at 8:49 am
I don’t really take anything much that Dr. Phil has to say to heart. The things that he says are just his opinions and nothing more. And most of his opinions are pretty close-minded in my opinion. ;)
As far as the topic at hand, I think this all just boils down to the fact that American culture has completely sexualized the breast, and because of that, the act of breastfeeding. Why else would people think it’s “weird” to nurse past a year? Because after they “know” what they’re doing, it must be sexual and wrong somehow, right? I’m not saying that most people even consciously think that, but it’s the subconscious “ick” factor. That same sexualization of breastfeeding is why someone would have an issue with someone nursing a baby that isn’t theirs. An infant having *gasp* had their mouth on another mother’s nipple is no different than if they’d gotten a hug from another mother or any other form of affection. It’s only “ick” if people make it feel that way in their minds.
If I had been wetnursed by a family friend or relative, I would feel nothing but “wow, my aunt/friend/etc must have really cared about me a lot.” If I’d had an available nursing friend when I was going through supply issues with my son, I would’ve been so grateful if they nursed my son.
Annie
Apr 9, 2007 at 8:49 am
Dr Phil wants ONE thing. Ratings. He’s going to say what gets a reaction. No research before doing so too…
Depending on Dr. Phil for advice on care, feeding and educating our babies and children is like expecting to get marriage counseling from Jerry Springer, or religious training & guidance from George Carlin.
Angela
Apr 9, 2007 at 11:59 am
Quote: Although rare, Leaders do receive questions from mothers about wet nursing and cross nursing. La Leche League does not encourage or suggest wet nursing or cross nursing of infants. Indeed, the practice is discouraged for a number of physical and psychological reasons.
Angela: I suppose y’all have a problem with what the La Leche League International has to say about this, eh?
http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVJulAug95p53.html
Elisa
Apr 9, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Please. He brought this up just because it’s a subject that will stir-up some controversy and it will give him more coverage. Despicable tacticts, despicable man. I don’t think he’s brave at all, I think he’s just one of those who tries to teach what he obviously cannot do - which makes him a joke IMO
I have never done it myself but I definitely support any mom who chooses to give her baby breast milk instead of formula, even when the breast milk is not her own. As long as she makes sure it comes from someone who is healthy and has a good hygiene and good nutrition I think it’s WAY better than pretty much any formula on the market.
As far as the question “I do think Dr. Phil brought up a very valid point that should be considered though — what happens when that kid grows up, finds out they were loaned out or played a game of nipple swap with their mothers friend or a neighbor? Do mothers consider what impact that could possibly have on their child?” I have to say, I don’t think that’s an issue. The only people who would be embarassed by this would possibly be some teenagers, who would be embarassed if this topic was brough up anyway, even if they were breastfed by their own mother. A child, teen and young adult who knows that nursing isn’t sexual and why it’s important for their health will most likely take it just as another choice their mother made to ensure they would have the best health possible. That’s hardly embarassing or offensive. You say “swapping” as if the moms were actually exchanging babies. I see it more as: the mothers were supporting each other so that each baby would have the best care they could possibly have.
LTP
Apr 9, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Both my brother and I “played a game of nipple swap” and could hardly care. I think the only way you would care is if you’re made to believe you should, or that breastfeeding is somehow “gross” or akin to sexuality. Does it mess up your child to know that they were bottlefed by a close friend of their mother’s?
The fact that you see it as “a game of nipple swap” tells me you’ve never had a deep feeling of motherhood kinship with a friend of yours, and I think it’s terrible when women don’t have another person they can share the experience of parenthood with. :(
I breastfed my best friend’s newborn when she was having vicious trouble due to some ill-informed nurses at the hospital. Her daughter needed breastmilk, not formula, and wouldn’t nurse from her mother. She had yet to pump enough, so I nursed her while her mother pumped until she could take over.
And, if needed, I’d let her nurse my own babies. It’s not like I’m handing them off to strangers - I seriously do not see what is so weird about this. It isn’t weird to ask someone to bottlefeed your kid or give them a banana. Breasts are for food: and if you realize this, the idea of wetnursing loses it’s ability to be “weird”.
LTP
Apr 9, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Angela: I’m part of LLL. LLL says that because they cannot say anything that could be construed as advice, nor can they make themselves responsible if something went wrong. It’s called “cover your ass”.
Whyte Rayne
Apr 9, 2007 at 9:18 pm
I have both had my children fed with my friends breasts, and I have fed other children with my breasts. I have found nothing wrong with it. I know the people who are feeding my child, and they know me. We are not strangers, but close knit friends. I personally feel that since my daughter is exclusivly breast fed, and will not tkae a bottle, and so are their children, that giving them my breastmilk is the best thing I can do for them. I will not have them go hungery untill their mom comes back, they have a right to eat, and I can provide that. Nourishing any baby is a wonderful thing and creates a mother love bond for that child. The child then knows that they can trust you, and that you will give them what they need. It is not discusting as DR. Phill has portrayed it to be, but a natural thing to do.
I would not give my child to a stranger to be breastfed, and if a mom was uncomfortable with it, I would not breastfeed their child. That is a mothers choice. I have made mine. My friends are fantastic mothers and my children will go with them willingly and they know that these mothers care for them as much as I do. My friends have given my child a gift of trust and love by breastfeeding them. I love that my children have more “moms” that they know they can turn to in need. All because of the gift of their loving breastmilk.
Angela
Apr 9, 2007 at 11:51 pm
My Miss Kinsley would not take a bottle either. She went from boob to sippie cup quicker than flies on chit.
There is absolutely NO point whatsoever in sharing your boob-juice and swapping slippery nipples with your friends. However, if you and your boob buddies like the way you have it going on then that’s up to you guys.
I’m glad that my children don’t need to turn to other Mom’s when they are in need. They have ME 24/7 and it’s not because of the breastmilk I could offer them.
Oh Gawd I think I’m gonna PUKE.
Annie
Apr 10, 2007 at 5:38 am
“From my own small world, I’ve seen mothers who breastfed one child and not the other and the one who wasn’t turned out to be more independent and successful in business while the other is still living at home at 25.”
And that proves what? My mom breastfed all 3 children. My brother left for college and pretty much never came home. I came home for a year after college and then moved across the country. And my sister is 23 and still living at home while she goes to grad school. Anecdotal evidence proves nothing and is just a waste of our time.
If anything, early attachment fosters later independance. Close bonds (which breastfeeding can help create) make a child secure and able to strike out on their own with confidence. My 14 month old son is still breastfeeding and he is a very independant toddler who is confident enough to challenge children much older than him (4 and 5 year olds).
Dr. Phil made it seem like women sit around drinking coffee and passing their babies around just for the heck of it. That’s pretty ridiculous. People use wet nurses out of need, whether a mom has to work out of the home and is blessed enough to have a care provider that can nurse her child, or the case of a friend of mine whose SIL had a baby and then had serious complications from the birth and the baby was not taking formula. She was able to nurse her SIL’s baby several times a day for the first week or so and without that, that little baby may have been in serious trouble.
And the idea that an older child finding out they had a wet nurse would traumatize them is also ridiculous. Are we all tramatized because our parents let other people change our diapers? Do I sit around and think, “OMG! How many people have wiped my privates with a baby wipe?” No. It’s no big deal. People change diapers and people nurse babies. It’s completely normal and there is nothing sick or perverted about it. Anyone who thinks that is ignorant about the issue.
Gayla
Apr 10, 2007 at 5:54 am
But isn’t that kind of like outsourcing being a mother?
I don’t think any part of raising a child should be outsourced. Period!
TD
Apr 10, 2007 at 8:29 am
Throughout the years of slavery, in this country and others, slaves were wet nurses for their master’s children…..
J
Apr 10, 2007 at 9:06 am
I had such terrible supply issues with my son that I wish I had known other nursing moms so I could have avoided supplementing with formula. Even with pumping around the clock for two months, my supply was always dismal. There are no milk banks where I live.
Would I have welcomed another mother’s milk over something produced in a factory? Absolutely. It’s not a question of “weirdness” or what the breast means to the American public, it’s a question of making sure my child has enough to eat.
J
Apr 10, 2007 at 9:07 am
Oh, and Dr. Phil is a dork. ‘Nuff said.
Angela
Apr 10, 2007 at 9:51 am
Breastfeeding is not required to raise a healthy and happy child. Children that have not had boob juice can be just as close to their family members as those that have.
Kids that are not breast fed are not doomed no matter what breast feeding extremists have to say.
And so what if there were some slaves that nursed their masters’ babies. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it was the right thing to do.
I think unless you live in a third world country where it’s hard to maintain a certain level of nutrition for your children there is no need to swap boobs for the sake of convenience.
If you can breast feed – that’s great! Take responsibility for your child. It’s not somebody else’s job to raise and take care of your children.
If you can’t provide pumped breast milk for the baby sitter and the baby won’t take a bottle, then don’t go out OR take your baby with you.
After all, they are only babies for a short time.
If you have to go back to work then take the breast pump with you OR find out if you can put your baby in the work place day care center so you can spend your breaks with your baby.
If that’s a problem then you shouldn’t be at work. You should be home taking care of your child.
If you are having terrible supply issues with your children don’t worry. There is formula. Formula works great. Eventually they will be on regular cow’s milk.
It’s not detrimental people. Your child is not going to somehow be ruined for life.
If you want to make sure your child has enough to eat then feed them on a regular basis. You don’t need somebody else’s boob juice to accomplish this task.
b5media - Entertainment & Celebs Update
Apr 13, 2007 at 2:41 pm
[…] sparks up a great discussion on Wet Nurses on Supernanny […]
mom of 4
Apr 26, 2007 at 7:36 am
I have 4 children - all I attempted to breastfeed. My oldest had to be “temporarily” taken off breastmilk because I developed an infection and was prescribed medication that would have harmed her teeth(1983) so until the dr could find an alternative I started pumping and had to give her formula. One week later when I started the other medication I started breastfeeding again but she would not take to the breast because she had already became accustomed to the “easier” bottle which does not require the same or as strenuous effort it takes to breast feed. At less than 2 months old she was done even if I did not want her to be. If I could have kept her breastfeeding for that time while I was waiting to find other medication then she would have been a fully breastfed baby. I was sad and disappointed that I was not able to continue.
The other 3 of my children were breastfed for different amounts of time(from 9 months to 2 years) and I believe that if you can feed your baby you should(at least you should attempt to) and if you have some reason you cannot then what could be more desirable than having another woman help. Formula is fine(alot of very happy and successful adults have never had a nipple in their mouth) but it is not preferable to breastmilk as far as it’s chemical make-up. I think that what works for each individual’s situation and the overall health and welfare of the child is not up for debate because the most important factor is that the child has been fed and taken care of as best as they can be whether they are fed by mom or not - breast or not.
mom of 4
Apr 26, 2007 at 7:51 am
As far as what will the child think if you had someone else breastfeed them - will they feel it was wrong- not if you did not do it for reasons they believe are wrong- how they believe is only partially up to the parents - adults form their own opinions about what their parents did while raising them all the time - but as parents we do our best to do what we can to raise healthy kids.
Chloe
Apr 26, 2007 at 9:27 am
Obviously everyone has their own opinions and is entitled to them. ANGELA: You sound really rude, you make yourself sound closed minded and totally against the wellness that comes from breast milk. I could never give my child to another woman’s breast nor could I breastfeed child who is not my own. But I would never use derogatory comments on a site where women are sharing their personal stories of wet nursing. Most of the mothers in this discussion are supportive to each other of wet nursing. Since you are not, maybe you should start your own column with your own derogatory comments discouraging wet nursing and breast feeding. I feel hurt by the words you said and I am the mom who stays home OR, takes her baby out because she won’t take a bottle.
Iggy
Apr 26, 2007 at 9:40 am
I understand where Angela is coming from. I think the main point she’s trying to get across is that some extreme breastfeeding mom’s are similar to extreme political wackos - they have a very hard time seeing it BOTH ways and instead declare it their own personal mission to covert everyone to their way of thinking. And if they refuse to convert, they’ll shock them by breastfeeding in public without covering up.
I think it’s GREAT for mom’s who choose to breastfeed, but it hurts just the same when the extreme wackos make those of us who can’t feel as though we somehow deprived our children and that we should have stuck them on another woman’s teet.
To me a woman who chooses to breastfeed in public without covering up is just as offensive to me and my principals as if I were to light up a smoke and sit next to a non smoker.
One offense is no less offensive then another, regardless of health, etc.
And if you don’t believe extreme breastfeeding mom’s are a bit off, try posting an impeachment post right after one condemning breastfeeding in public and see which one lights up quicker.
Angela
Apr 26, 2007 at 3:00 pm
Interesting, I thought the entire point of blogging and sharing in the discussion was to be able to offer up a variety of opinions and experiences. It seems that if I don’t conform to the idea that wet nursing is “the best” option for everybody then I am condemned.
And since when is the term “boob juice” a derogatory remark? I’m as open minded as they come.
I did not breastfeed my 15 year old, I breast fed my 3 year old until she was 9 months old, and I breast fed my 17 month old until she was 13 months old. Breastfeeding is not for everybody and neither is wet nursing.
Do what you think is best and I will continue to do what I think is best. We don’t all have to agree OR sit and be snotty towards one another. :: sigh ::
We have boobies people. Do what you think is best. I don’t need to see your boobies and I don’t plan on sharing my boobies with somebody else’s child.
If you think I am a mean person for speaking my mind in such a direct manner as this then you’d better stay away from my political blog. You might be offended by the discussions going on over there .. lol
mom of premie
Apr 28, 2007 at 6:21 am
Breastmilk could mean the difference between taking a healthy, tiny, baby home from the NICU sooner, later, and in some instances not at all. Premies who receive breastmilk have marked improvement on their journey to become healthy enough to take home. My child was born 3 months premature! I pumped milk for him that may have potentially saved his life. Today he is a healthy, happy 3 year old. We now have a 17mo. old who has recently been wheened, but I am still producing milk. I would offer my milk up in a heartbeat to a premie or a healthy newborn, because I know first hand how important breastmilk is. In fact my sister has been diagnosed with preeclampsia and may have a premie of her own, and I’ve already told her my milk is available if for some reason she can’t provide her own for the baby. I think that as long as a lactating woman has received a clean bill of health from a physician (to include a check for serious communicable diseases) there’s no reason not to share breastmilk.
Tim
Apr 29, 2007 at 6:05 am
I live in Northern Virginia, in Alexandria. I will be the sole custodian for my infant daughter when she arrives in the near future. I would prefer to have a wet nurse if possible for my child, if I can find one. Does anyone know where I might be able to find a wet nurse in this area?
I think it is much more to be preferred than bottle feeding, though it will probably be necessary to do both. My email is treid31@juno.com I would be grateful for any direction anyone can give me. Thanx.
Sarah
May 27, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Wet nurses are used all over the world. They are most often someone you know or a family member. It has been common for thousands of years.
I am American but live in Morocco. It is very common here and has no psychological effect on a child. When children grow up they know who breastfed them become religiously we believe the child becomes a ‘milk child’ to that woman. It just isn’t an issue in any way.
Deanna
Jul 6, 2007 at 12:31 pm
I don’t think it’s gross or icky to wet-nurse another’s infant. However, there are some cross-contamination concerns that need to be taken into consideration. For instance, if one baby has thrush and nurses off of his mother’s nipple, then the mother wet nurses another baby….that baby could get thrush, too. However, there are benefits to wet-nursing. Some women just aren’t able to produce enough milk, and purchasing donated breast milk is just too expensive. If she can find close friend, sister, or cousin willing to nurse her child I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. The people who are going to have issues with it are the same people that think that women who breastfeed their adopted children are “gross”. An adoptive mother has just as much right to nurse her adopted child as the birth parent does. In developing countries it’s normal for other women to take over the role of breastfeeding an infant when the mother is unable. It’s either that or die…there is no formula, and there is no money to buy the formula. Our society is too spoiled and ignorant of what the rest of the world is doing. Dr. Phil is just following the rest of society by saying that it’s gross. Too bad. We need some people to stand up for us….
Mandi
Sep 7, 2007 at 10:10 am
This is in response to Gayla’s post regarding breastfed children being “still at home at 25″ and bottle-fed children being more successful.
My children are still young, but my oldest, who I breastfed the longest, is the most independent child I’ve ever known. My 2nd & 4th children were breastfed for a very short time (about 2 mos), and then bottle-fed after that. They are definitely much more “needy” than my other two, who were both breastfed for over a year.
There are a lot of other factors that contribute to a child’s independence. My bottle-fed children may be more needy because I’ve trained them to be that way through my guilt at not breastfeeding them (they both had severe reflux).
I also have myself and my siblings as an example. Although we all were breastfed, I was weaned at 6 mos and I would have to say I’m not the most independent or successful person, while my brother & sister are much more so. Then, my youngest brother, who nursed the longest of all of us, is still at home at 26.
I really don’t think breast/bottle has that much of a factor in these things.
Markenson
Oct 9, 2007 at 1:07 pm
je suis francais j’ai besoin baucoup daide
Sunnyblu
Oct 31, 2007 at 11:36 am
Summer stated “My nephew was weaned far before a year and has ADHD, is bipolar, and has aggressive tendancies. All of which studies have found that a lack of DHA in the diet can cause in children. Breastmilk has DHA, until very recently formula did not.”
I would be careful generalizing isolated incidents without evidence. Yes, formula funded research excluded and emotion removed, it’s widely accepted and proven that breastfeeding is far healthier than formula feeding. I nursed 2 children myself and made a goat milk based formula to supplement with. I was told by the nutritionist at the hospital that I would cause brain damage if I gave this to my children because it did not have 1 specific amino acid. I called the formula company to find out what this amino acid was and they actually told me that it was exclusively to expel the toxins from the infants body that were in the formula. Hm…and what are new moms given at the hospital? Formula. Who pays for the research that is used in educating the nutritionists? Formula and drug companies.
I work with many many autistic, ADHD, birth defect children, some breastfed, some formula fed, I do extensive evaluations and collect information on pregnancy, childbirth, nursing, nutrition, environment, etc….One thing in common is that these mothers trusted their doctors who told them that formulas and vaccinations were safe. (many parents reported to me that their children suffered seizures after immunizations but the doctors told them it was not related to the immunizations. So do you think they reported that information in all this research that is done and funded by the drub companies?).
You did not state if he weaned himself or was weaned, but if he weaned himself it is more likely that he did it BECAUSE of his issues, not the other way around.
Jennifer
Nov 2, 2007 at 11:35 am
I think a big part of the issue many americans have with wet-nursing is definitely the USA society seeing breasts as a sexual object rather than what it is humanly made to do. The main function of a womans breast is to feed a baby. Wet nursing is very common in other countries and was very common in our country in the past. In this generation of mothers, we worry about diseases, people molesting our children, and about what society will think of us if we do something out of the range of what we call ‘normal’. I have 3 children and one more on the way. I was extremely fortunate to be able to breast feed all of my babies including my first two, which were twins and 9 weeks premature. I’ve had so much milk with each child that I would pump and store it until I didn’t have any room left in my freezer. I would be completely comfortable nursing another person’s baby and think it would be great if there were a company out there to create a ‘Wet-Nurse Registry’ that would test lactating mothers and run background checks on mothers that offered nursing for babies in need. If the thought of having someone else nurse your baby isn’t comfortable then don’t do it! But for mothers out there that cannot nurse their babies and really want their baby to be breastfed, why would someone try to discourage them just because they wouldn’t do it themselves?
Sarah Gram
Nov 17, 2007 at 3:49 pm
God made our breasts and bodies: Man Made Formula. Who do you trust???????????
Breast-feeding mom
Feb 2, 2008 at 6:42 am
Ok I had no idea what the heck wet nursing was until now. I had the same thinking some woman trying to steal my baby. But then I think back to when I had my premature daughter and 3 other children. Some part of me wished I knew about it then. Maybe I would have tried it. I could not be at the hospital every 2 hours and pumping was not working at all. But even with the milk I was able to supply her she is now a 5 year old healthy little girl. I think its really up to the mom as for me We are pregnant and due in a few weeks and my baby will breastfeed from me and thats all. Unless I am terminally ill and then I dont know. Its a strong subject and is up to the parents not everyone else who says if their baby is wet nursed or not.
Victoria
Feb 7, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Wow. There are some very strong feelings here. I just wanted to say that I am 18 years old, don’t have kids (yet!) and I wish my mother had breastfed. She wanted to, but my dad didn’t like it because he said they were “his” boobs. Whatever. My sister and I should have been properly nourished.
I now have weight issues. I’m not saying it’s all because I wasn’t breastfed, but it’s been proven that providing solids and cow’s milk early can lead to weight issues later in life. My parents HAD to start feeding me “normal” food at 6 months because formula was way too expensive for them. I think back and I know that the cheapest thing would have been to breastfeed! It was there 24/7 and was free! How could formula be better?
As far as wetnursing goes… I personally don’t have a problem with it. I am planning to breastfeed, but if there was a problem where I couldn’t, I think I would be willing to visit a milk bank. After all, formula just isn’t cutting it. They will never be able to develop a formula that is equivalent to breastmilk. Never.
But, if other women NEED to have their baby nursed by another mother, as long as they know the person, I don’t see why it’s anyone else’s business!!!
Angie
May 23, 2008 at 10:28 pm
I can’t carry a child to term but I fully believe that babies should have breast milk. If my fiance and I choose to adopt or even (we can’t afford it now but who knows) try for a surrogate, I absolutely will try to find a wet-nurse for my baby. I want my children to have the best advantage possible (not referring to money here, but health). I am a person of faith and I believe that human breast milk was created to be best for human babies. I won’t have a problem switching to cows milk when the doctor says it’s ok… but if I can help my child have the best immune system possible, I will do it.
BMS
May 25, 2008 at 2:47 am
Let me start by saying I agree, breastfeeding is best. If you can do it, it’s the best option.
But let me also say - kids are a heck of a lot more resilient than people seem to realize. You look at a roomful of adults - can you tell which ones were breastfed? What worries me about the whole debate (and a lot of other kid related debates) is how absolutely paranoid parents have become these days. People are convinced that if they can just breastfeed, vaccinate (or not), choose the right educational toys, read all the right books, etc. then their children will be perfect and suffer no harm. And if something does not come out perfect, it is obviously the parents fault. Your kid has ADD? Obviously you did something wrong! Can’t just be fate, or genetics, or dumb bad luck anymore. It is YOUR FAULT MOM. YOU did/didn’t do something.
When are we moms going to see how absolutely crazy this is?
Angie
May 27, 2008 at 5:26 pm
oh yeah, of course kids are resilient. And I grew up into an intelligent adult on formula, no baby Einstein and no antibacterial soap. Didn’t even have a carseat LOL. When I become a mother, I won’t go overboard. I think vaccines are useful, carseats are the law. But I’m not too gung ho over formula. I got more by playing in the garden with Grandma and some rocks than any video that could have been played. I just think that to go from breast milk to solid but smushy food might be best for a baby.
Oh, and I’m a type 1 diabetic. Definitely not mom’s fault. What was her fault was ignoring me when I told her I had symptoms and telling me it was all in my head or I was just being lazy because I had no energy.
BMS
May 29, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Let me also say that I adopted two kids as infants from Guatemala. I figured if they survived on formula for 5-6 months there, they would probably continue to survive on it. And they have, with no allergy issues, obesity issues, or practically any other issues for that matter. Just a tendency to punch each other in the nose over legos.
Cindee
Jun 3, 2008 at 9:26 am
I think breastfeeding is a bonding experience and if you can I think you should at least try it. As far as wet nursing is concerned if you are close to the person and know they have no diseases that can pass through the milk than why not. It is a persons choice.
Heck think about it you give your kid cows milk. They might as well be sucking on a cows tit. My oldest is 15 and she isn’t embarrased or ruined because she knows she was breastfed. She don’t care either way.
People make it a sexual thing and it just isn’t so. Its a loving, bonding natural thing.
KS
Aug 4, 2008 at 10:39 am
I nursed my daughter and when she was about 4 months old, I caught a terrible case of ‘flu. A good friend who was still nursing her 9 month old son babysat for me for several days and while I pumped to keep up my milk supply, I threw the pumped milk out, and she breastfed my daughter. Neither my friend nor I saw anything wrong with this. Her child and mine were both fed and cared for, and that was all that mattered.
Del
Aug 10, 2008 at 1:01 pm
I am 23 years old and trying to get pregnant, but no luck yet. I am also vegan, and I oppose the idea of using a dairy based formula for my child should I be unable to breastfeed. I also oppose the idea of using a soy based formula . . . I would certainly love the idea of a wet-nurse, someone (hopefully vegan) who would be willing to help out in case I couldn’t. That being said I don’t think you should do it unless you have a reason . . . like just handing your child around in a circle or boobs seems a bit odd. But if you are sick or if you can’t breastfeed yourself, or if your child is allergic to formula or whatever . . . I don’t see anything wrong with it, it seems totally natural to me. In fact I would prefer it that way.
Amanda
Aug 23, 2008 at 10:42 pm
I am a 24 yr old mother of two. when my daughter was 2 months old my mother took in a new born baby. he had a real hard time keeping down any formula, if anyone reading this has had acid reflux they know that it hurts. he vomits everytime he eats and one day we were camping and without a car or store nearby my mom ran out of formula. i feed him my breatmilk straight from me and although it took him a while to latch on he ate better than ever and most important he held it down. since i have pumped as often as posible so that he can have as much breastmilk as he wants. still to this day 3 months later he only spits up when feed formula. i cant believe that any mom out there would see an infant suffering and not help. we have all donated money to feed the poor why not give what God gave us for free. my daughter at 7 months still doesnt eat baby food (she wont take it) weighs 20 lbs when my nephew who is 1 1/2 months older and eats 4 meals a day of baby food and formula in between only weighs 14 lbs. i have more milk than i know what to do with and would be happy to sell give or be a wet nurse. if dr phil wants to peek and explore the down side there are millions of men that as adults want to be breastfeed and lie to sellers about having babies who need so they can fullfill their fedish.
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