Do you secretly have a favorite child?
Ever since the twins were tiny babies, everyone has commented on how very different they are. They couldn’t be more different then if they weren’t related at all. Not just appearance, but personality, tastes in fashion, girls, sports, movies, music - they’re SO different!
Having three boys who are raised by the same parents, same rules - it’s amazing at just how unlike they are.
I’ve seen parents who have one child who might be on honor roll while they are constantly called to the school to get the other out of trouble.
Last weekend the kids had a party. Each invited their own friends, their own girlfriend and got to shop for their own snacks and drinks. I found myself watching from a distance, wondering just how it’s possible to parent these three equally, while catering to their individual needs.
At the end of the evening, I found myself barking at one for having not paid much attention to his girlfriend at all - snipping at the other for sitting next to his girlfriend, holding her hand, but not speaking a single word and chewing the third one’s butt for acting like a little whore-dog and practically sucking his girlfriends face off in front of God, their friends and the world.
As a parent, do you find it difficult to keep a balance when parenting your very different children?
How is it possible to prove to them that you don’t have a favorite, you just have to yell at one or two a LOT less!
I can imagine to the kids and the outside world it might look like I have a favorite, but really, I don’t think I do!
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POSTED IN: Parenting
8 opinions for Do you secretly have a favorite child?
Jennifer
Apr 1, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I have a favorite child ;)
Actually, I want more kids (most of the time) but I do worry that there’s no one I could ever adore like I adore Cedar.
It seems incomprehensible when you’re the parent of an only that someone else could matter so much. It seems like it would be easy to have a favorite - you just might not talk about it. I have favorite everythings all the time so maybe kids would be the same?
PS: everythings? Like my new word? :)
marye
Apr 1, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I have 8 favorites.
Erin, my eldest is my favorite because we have amazing adventures together no matter what we are doing..sometimes laughing so hard we can’t move.
Chris, 23, is my favorite because he and I are the most alike and understand eachother well
Matt 15, is my favorite because he shares my love of sustainable living and the outdoors. He is responsible and I count on him to help fix fences, throw hay bales and walk colicky horses.AND he gives foot rubs!!
Ethan, 14 is my favorite because he plays a neon green clarinet, and will make sure I have a birthday cake. He gives shoulder rubs!
Shiloh, 12 is my favorite because she will gladly offer to entertain the littler kids and let me take a nap..
Sean 9, is my favorite because he is a deep thinker, gifted, and always has interesting insights. He also has microtia artesia and has never once complained about his hearing problems or the way he was made.
Nick, 7, is my favorite because he loves to be with me, no matter what I am doing. He likes to be touching me, sitting next to me…or cuddled tightly to me.
Kyrie, 4, is my favorite because she is loving, and funny. Last night she informed me that there was a “very large human at church that knew everyone (of our family) except” her. She was amazed. They are all my favorite at different times, depending on whether they are walking in their strengths or weaknesses!
Ashley
Apr 1, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I read a quote in a little mothering book someone gave me that basically said although she would never disclose who it is, every mother has a secret favorite child..
I now have two and they’re 3 yrs apart. I would have to dispute that claim. The favoritism kinda has an ebb and flow to it - one day the oldest says something really shockingly kind and my heart just melts from his little spirit..then the next day the youngest will scrape a knee or something and cry and cling to me like he did when he was a tiny baby and I’m reminded that he still is the baby..
So, I don’t see how there can be one favored over the other.
But if I had to guess, I would say they probably both feel like the other one is my favorite.
But that’s just life.
Jennifer
Apr 1, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Marye, I’m sorry, but how cute are you? I love your perspective. That would make a great post all on it’s own. Maybe instead of blogs you should be writing for Hallmark :)
PreSchool Mama
Apr 1, 2008 at 3:32 pm
I’ve always been intrigued by that, since I have an only child. But, I’ve seen my Mom be blatantly partial to my brother, so maybe I know the answer!
BMS
Apr 1, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Depends on the day. Today, I have two children, neither of whom are my favorite, as they have been fighting like cats and dogs since they got home. Today, the cat is my favorite child - quiet, well behaved, and eats more neatly.
marye
Apr 1, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Jennifer..I am very, very, very cute..and that is why I have 8 kids. :D
kadi
Apr 1, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Uh…Gayla, You didn’t even answer the question!! Well, do you?
I have favorite things about each child. I worry more about some, I depend on some more than others, I get more cuddling from certain kids. Favoritism has never been an issue.
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