But things are so different now…
Times, they are a changin’ and I’m not exactly sure I like it very much!
Things seemed so much simpler when I was a teenager. Perhaps it’s because my parents had their ‘rules’ very well defined and there wasn’t room to question. Well, there might have been room, but when it came to my dad, questioning his rules was never a very good idea.
Last weekend, my husband and I allowed the three boys to have a boy/girl party. The twins are 15 and the third is 13 (at the moment). Each boy invited his girlfriend and a handful of their friends from school. For the most part things went rather smoothly - that was until reports began emerging from the basement that one boys was making out with his girlfriend and was about to suck her face off.
Perhaps I’m being a little old fashioned - but doesn’t that seem just a bit ballsy to be making out. Like That. With your parents in the house?!?! And doesn’t it seem even more wrong when you consider the two kids involved are THIRTEEN? Of course the kids would argue they are going to be 14 in a couple of months, but that doesn’t change the fact that only 10 months ago they were maneuvering through the aging process and just exiting TWELVE years of age!
Times may be changing, but here I am 40-something and amazingly enough I lived to tell about my dating life as a teen even when I was NOT allowed to date until I was sixteen (and not a single day before).
Do you have a son? If so, are the dating rules for your son different from that of your daughter? What are the rules you’ve set for your own children when it comes to entertaining the opposite sex?
I’d love nothing more then to run to the kids, letting them know I blogged our current issue and contrary to what they believe - I am NOT the most old fashioned, out of touch parent on the planet.
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POSTED IN: Parenting
8 opinions for But things are so different now…
Jennifer
Apr 4, 2008 at 4:30 pm
I don’t know what to say, not being a parent of teens (yet) but it must be hard. Especially when you can remember what it felt like to be 15 or 16 and all caught up in “going out” and that sort of stuff. The lure of making out sort of surpassed what any adult I knew might think - but now, it does sound kind of weird to me that kids do this at younger and younger ages. It’s hard to be older, and know more now, and try to sympathize with kids who don’t.
kadi
Apr 4, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Note to self… invest in a basement monkey as well as a trunk moneky!
I am scared crapless of the teenage years.
marye
Apr 4, 2008 at 5:26 pm
me again. 5 boys, 3 girls. No sucking face. No dating until sixteen. NO GIRLFRIENDS (ie: no phone calls that don’t have to do with youth group or similar) until age sixteen. We don;t have boy /girl parties..we have family parties where the whole family is invited.
Next time your kids tell you you are mean, offer them a month long Texas vacation.
And keep your stick on the ice.
David Quiroz
Apr 6, 2008 at 5:38 am
Of course the kids made out! What do you expect? They are teenagers! Don’t be so naive…when you get teenage boys and girls together…that spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E! I can’t believe the other parents were stupid enough to let their kids come to such a party! That is what makes me MAD!
Gayla McCord
Apr 6, 2008 at 6:48 am
@ David - isn’t it better to have teens where they are at must less risk of doing something VERY stupid?
Over the weekend, the same girl invited our son over to her house - the answer was NO! She can come here to visit, but we know her parents are heavy drinkers and deficient in parenting skills (as far as we are concerned) and we’d rather the pair be under our roof where we can monitor them more closely.
I think it’s better to have the kids come here where we can teach them from their mistakes versus letting them just cut loose at a later time without a clue.
CanadianMom
Apr 6, 2008 at 12:34 pm
It’s so hard to give the teens the freedom they crave, and yet protect them from themselves. I still remember what it was like as teenager. My mother did not care at all what I did, I had next to no supervision. All of my friends envied me, but I felt so unimportant, unloved, that I wanted their strict parents to look out for me.
Luckily, my teenage self stayed alive and out of prison. I also didn’t do (many) drugs, and didn’t get pregnant.
I have a plan to just educate my children on what teenage years involve, and the things that can happen if they do certain things. Having a childhood that I had, I know many different scenarios, and if they know what could happen, they might think twice.
Saying that, I don’t think making out at 13 is all THAT bad. I was doing worse at that age, although never in my parents’ house. At least they still have clothes on. I would be talking seriously with them about the next bases, and the things that COULD happen. I would also be speaking with the girl’s parents. What are their views on this?
The worst thing is, if you forbid this, with the whole ‘my roof, my rules’ theory, they’ll just go somewhere else and do it. You can’t tie them up after all, you know? So I think MAKE SURE they know what can happen. Or tell them it WILL happen, that will scare ‘em good.
dh
Apr 7, 2008 at 5:12 pm
We had a boy girl party ( only one girl), but no making out. I think a smart rule is to have the party out in the open and not let them be sequestered in the basement. Plus the parents have to be around and involved in what’s going on. When the kids were eating, we ate with them, plus we were outside when they were in the pool. We also don’t allow dating until they’re sixteen. Unfortunately, we have a girl drooling over my 15 year old son, who knows exactly when his birthday is and she’s chomping at the bit. Ugh!
Ashley
Apr 8, 2008 at 7:20 am
A party where parents are present and alcohol and drugs are not is about as G rated as it’s going to get for teenagers in 2008. I think it says alot about you and your husband Gayla that you care enough to make the effort and it says a lot about your boys that they were even into such a thing. And that their friends even wanted to come with parents there.
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