Born In A Barn
My husband and I are constantly on our kids about their inconsiderate acts. If they walk in and leave the door open, they have to go back and shut the door immediately. If they slam the door, they have to practice gently opening and closing it, ten times. If they leave the fridge open, the get a warning. The second time, they have to write a paragraph about why the door should stay shut. They are taught to say please and thank you. They are expected to use proper telephone etiquette. We generally frown upon precociousness and bad manners. It was how we were raised and it is how we are choosing to raise our kids.
Apparently, there are people out there who do not practice these habits, disciplines and standards. I cannot tell you how many times we’ve had a school friend over to play, only to watch them help themselves to the contents of our fridge, leave doors open and behave in a manner that borderlines utter barbarianism. Yet, they think nothing of it. I have had to explain house rules on many occasions and repeat them until I’m ready to send the violating party home.
Why? Why should I have to teach other people’s kids manners and common sense courtesy? Why don’t parents take priority in these things anymore? I’m sure that there are some who still do. In fact, we do know a few families who have well mannered children. They are the only ones we extend invitations to. It’s not that I do not like the kids who are devoid of manners, but it is exhausting work to teach my own kids. I do not feel that it is my job to try and teach others as well, or my plight to have to tolerate rude behavior. Am I alone here?
Tags: friends, manners, play dates, social standards
6 opinions for Born In A Barn
Tiffany
Aug 5, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Ugh…why must everyone meet your high standards? Sounds like you are raising drones…not kids.
kadi
Aug 5, 2008 at 10:50 pm
It is called good manners, discipline, common sense practices and keeping the Edison bill down.
Drones…that’s laughable.
evi
Aug 7, 2008 at 2:13 am
I agree - it’s high standards. My parents were/are strict. It was sometimes annoying, but we were always told the deeper cause of their strictness. In my opinion, rules are good for children - no, for everybody. If you are taught to do things from an early age, you don’t think of it later on but do it automatically. When I was young, I sometimes felt as being “drilled” to sit upright, say please-thankyou-youarewelcome - today, as I am grown, those things are like breathing to me and impolitely people drive me nuts.
Coming to a point: I will be a strict mom! HA! ;-) My children will argue, but eventually thank me. It all comes down to explaining them why certain things need to be done.
Tiffany1377
Aug 8, 2008 at 1:12 pm
I have to agree with Kadi…manners are important. My daughter is almost 10 and she had a couple different girls over throughout last year and I was appalled at their behavior. I told her that if she EVER acts like that she’s in BIG trouble.
CanadianMom
Aug 12, 2008 at 7:08 pm
I also have strict rules about behaviour, and manners. My own children are very polite and courteous. There are things they have always done, ie dishes in the sink, toilet seat down and of course the please-thankyou-you’rewelcome. When friends come over, they do the same. And moms actually THANK ME for properly training their children.
For the record, I am the only SAHM I know. All of my friends work, other moms at school work, and my children are better behaved than theirs. Put some effort into it, parents. Take the time to teach your children the basics. They deserve it, and they NEED it.
Lisa
Aug 13, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Great job teaching good manners…you are right not nearly enough people practice this for fear of the children thinking they are “mean”.
I never in all my life hear of another person using the go back and do it over technique or the practicing doing it right technique. I say this because this is the exact way my dad did things. When I ran across the street without looking he made me come home, and practice crossing the street for a half hour. I was so embarrassed but you know what, I never did that again. Same went for door slamming, running through the house, and slamming doors. Kudos to you for using creative ways of teaching your children the right way to behave.
I do believe the basic practice of teaching manners and respect is becoming a rarity.
Keep up the good work. Trust me your children with thank you later.
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