Advice Needed: 1-9-06
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Our question today is from Peggie-Sue, who has a problem every parent has probably experienced. In fact, I drove my mom crazy doing the same thing! Please help Peggie-Sue.
Hi this is Peggie-Sue I am also having a problem with my 4 year old son who will not eat anything, only a potato for dinner, and Nutella sandwiches for lunch. I would love for him to try new food but when he sees something different he will just cry and I have tried to make him have it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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POSTED IN: Parenting
6 opinions for Advice Needed: 1-9-06
Shannon
Jan 9, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Peggie-Sue, it sounds to me as if your son is exerting his independance. Power struggles over food are rarely worth it. Amazingly enough it seems as though our little ones will survive and even thrive on much different foods than we imagine them requiring in order to be well nourished. I suggest giving him a childrens vitamin (check with your childs pediatrician first) and from there, asking your son what he would like to eat and then feeding him whatever he asks for. Only as a beginning to the “scheme” to get him to eat better though. Once he realizes he has choices and a certain power (without battling with you) over what he is fed, I suggest narrowing the choices to include things he normally chooses as well as those you would choose, no pressure to pick from one of your choices just present them. After a couple of days in which “your” foods are offered along with his, ask him to try something new, because you heard that trying new things was a way that boys get bigger. If he resists, no pressure, just let him know that there are other things that he can have. You might ask him if there is any new things he would like to try that you have not thought of. Along with this food journey, I suggest allowing him choices (not 10 more like 2-3) when it comes to clothing, play activities etc, whatever you can comfortably let him choose. In my experience, he will feel more respected and empowered and will struggle less with you in areas he can exert his will, such as what he will and will not eat. Good luck, I’m interested to know how this works. I’d say 10 days to 2 weeks to see the turn around.
peggie-sue
Jan 9, 2006 at 7:00 pm
hi shannon thanks for your advice i will be sure to try that. and will let you know how we progress.
matthias
Jan 9, 2006 at 11:00 pm
I disagree with Shannon. I believe that while children can and are supposed to make and practice making choices at that age, it often confuses them and amplifies the (option-) anxienty.
I choose what food we all are all having but let them choose if they want to eat it or not. While, yes, they will grow up on Nutella Sandwiches as well, children cannot make the proper decisions as to their nutrition at that age. And trust me, they won’t starve to death if they miss a meal o two. It definetely beats Nutella on a regular basis as a major part of the meal.
-matthias
Rhys
Jan 12, 2006 at 1:17 am
Wonderful advice from everyone; thank you so much for taking the time to respond! I think it’s great we have different opinions here, since different solutions will work for different people. :)
Ara
Feb 9, 2006 at 12:34 pm
Peggie-Sue,
My daughter was the same way until she was about 5 or 6. She would eat only bread, nutella and cheddar. She is 8 now and eats almost everything we do, including a variety of veggies.
What we did was put a very little of each dinner item on her plate. At first, maybe only a spoonful. After she ate that, she could have her bread and cheese. We told her that she didn’t have to eat anything she didn’t want to, but she would not get seconds or have dessert if she didn’t finish her small first portions. It was her choice. (I can only remember one time when she decided to go to bed without eating much.)
Slowly, over time, she began to ask for other foods, and we increased the amount of the “must haves” to a few small spoonfuls.
If she has tried something several times and still really dislikes it, we will try an easy substitution. After all,
we all have some things we will just never like.
Good luck!
Sara
Sep 19, 2007 at 6:10 am
I have a slightly different problem I would like some advice on. My son will try most things but is very slow and really plays with his food. He has Lactose Intollerance so i need him to eat a good spread of food. I think he is using it against me and to get a reaction. Please advise.
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