November 17th, 2008
It’s been five years since I became the step-mother character in my own blended family reality series having been familiar with and playing only the mother role in life. During that time I have endured some of the most complicated, frustrating challenges I’ve ever known.
Having been raised in a split family that was often referred to as overly functional - I have a difficult time grasping any concept that doesn’t offer a unique respect to the blended family itself. And find it very difficult to offer respect to any one person who doesn’t attempt to offer that unique respect that blended families need.
When two people make the decision to blend a family and each partner has children from a previous marriage, the last thing that family is going to need is a controlling parent/grandparent sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong and where it wasn’t requested - much less one who is sneaky and finds ways to control every possible situation they can even if it means using the children to accomplish their goal.
I won’t say I’ve been without fault - I’m sure my obsessive compulsive, work-a-holic tendencies are not so easy to live with, but for someone who appreciates order, structure and stability, having someone thrown in the mix who lacks that respect has essentially injected a lethal dose of chaos that has left me feeling broken to a point that I feel deep down is truly irreversible.
I’m not sure how my blended family would adjust to life without the negative influence and at this point, I’m not sure that’s even an option. I don’t feel it’s my place to tell my husband that he must choose between his family and his wife and hers. I think that’s a decision that should be made without suggestion.
With less than two weeks left until I move to my home - the home where no one can threaten to put me and my kids on the streets - the home where I will NEVER again hear, pack your kids and your sh*t and get the F out - a home where I can great negative forces at the door and politely inform them that I no longer have room in my life for their influence and ask them to leave - I feel as though I’m looking in the face of a whole new freedom.
One of the biggest worries I’ve had over the last several months was that the last few years of my kids “childhood” were going to spent in turmoil - not anymore.
At the moment it would appear that divorce is going to be my next big challenge, but after what I’ve been through the last couple of years - I don’t fear a thing. In fact, it’s appearing to be the oasis in the dry desolate life I’ve been stumbling through.
Image credit: stock.xchng
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By Gayla McCord -- 8 comments
November 14th, 2008
Tonight my son is attending his first high school theme dance with his girlfriend. Isn’t she adorable?
The theme is Sadie Hawkins so they dressed all farm-ish.
While I’m happy he is attending his first theme dance with such a sweet girl, I wanted to share a conversation we had prior to the dance.
Teen friend: Can T go out to eat and bowling with a group of us after the dance?
Me: Who will be driving?
Teen friend: C’s boyfriend, he’s 16 and very responsible?
*at this point my stomach begins to churn*
Me: What time is the dance supposed to be over?
Teen friend: 11:00
*aha - the out I was looking for*
Me: Like one HOUR before midnight?
Teen friend: Yes
Me: Not just no but HELL NO!
Teen friend: Why?
Me: Because T is 15 and his curfew is 10:00 and I’m already stretching that by allowing him to stay at the dance an hour after curfew.
Teen friend: Ok
My son let me know that he understood where I was coming from - that he was not angry with me and that he respected the fact that I stuck to my rules. He liked that I was strong and handled the situation in a way that made kids laugh but commanded respect.
Have I mentioned lately just how lucky I am to have such wonderful kids?
I know they can be a handful sometimes - but tonight was one of those times I’m very proud.
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By Gayla McCord -- 1 comment
November 12th, 2008
Laughter truly is the best medicine and it just doesn’t get any better than the nice little package presented by Jeff Dunham. Jeff is by far the funniest comedian going.
Here’s the scoop:
Let laughter light up the tree this year! Jeff Dunham and his puppet pals take the stage for an unforgettable evening of holiday-themed ventriloquist comedy. The world premiere of “Jeff Dunham’s Very Special Christmas Special” airs on Comedy Central Sunday, November 16 at 9:00 p.m.
The encore presentations air Sunday, November 16 at 10:00 p.m., Tuesday, November 18 at 10:00 p.m. and 12:00 a.m., November 23 at 9:00 p.m. and Friday, November 28 at 10:00 p.m.
There are chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at children’s noses and some dude’s hand up a puppet’s a$$?!? It sounds like Christmas is here for Jeff Dunham and he’s bringing his family to meet Comedy Central stand-up fans! Sure, no one wants to keep Grandpa company when he’s being a grump, so let the ever-sarcastic Walter keep him busy as he rails against a world full of peckerheads. Puppet extraordinaire Melvin the Superhero can use his X-ray vision to see if the turkey is cooked all the way through, but don’t ask him to carry it, because he’s pretty weak. For those who can’t handle their girlfriend’s family much longer, don’t do anything drastic! Achmed the Suicide Bomber proves there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, just Jeff Dunham. His family might be plastic, but that doesn’t mean viewers can’t celebrate Christmas and the holiday season with them! Don’t miss this hilarious, one-man, many-puppet showcase, premiering only on Comedy Central.
After the success of “Arguing With Myself” and “Spark of Insanity,” his first two one-hour specials on Comedy Central, Dunham is back with all-new, laugh-out-loud action! Performing 40 weeks and 250 dates a year in concert venues, comedy clubs and countless private corporate appearances, Jeff Dunham is one of the most sought-after entertainers working today. Dunham has made numerous appearances on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” and he was recently nominated “Comedian of the Year” by the Music City News Country Awards.
Jeff Dunham is clean enough for most families - I absolutely adore him and think you will too!
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By Gayla McCord -- 0 comments
November 10th, 2008
you have teen boys?
Earlier today I spent money on humane type mousetraps to catch the couple of critters that had made their way into our house with the cold snap.
Tonight one of the boys went to the bathroom and while trying to take care of business, a mouse ran across his foot.
Both boys took off like Tom and Huck or Lewis and Clark, as if they were going to discover some new world.
Armed with a butter bowl and piece of cardboard, they managed to capture the varmint.
I guess I should know by now to save my money and let the boys go hunting.
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By Gayla McCord -- 1 comment
November 10th, 2008
It’s no big secret that I have a leading role in a blended family life. It’s by far, the toughest role I’ve ever played - even to the point of being more difficult then mothering premature twins.
Ever since my kids were tiny, I’ve seen what split families and blended families should be like based on my own relatives who live in overly functional dysfunctional families.
I’ve attended birthday parties where the mother, stepfather, father, stepmother, both sets of grandparents and step-grandparents were in attendance and everyone got along!
Just before Halloween, I went to the mailbox and pulled out three envelopes from my EX-sister-in-law - each one addressed to my boys (her nephews) and one to my stepson(no relation to her whatsoever). In the packages, the boys found a collection of surprises, each one equal to the others.
This is by far the biggest challenge I struggle with almost daily, in my current situation. It’s been made known that I’m expected to treat all the kids equally, yet those who expect me to comply with their expectations show little to no respect for our unique situation and continuously divide the kids - because two are their “blood relatives” and the other two are not.
I’ll be very honest when I say it’s this struggle that has me wondering if blending families is really worth it? While I’ve not been one who tries to take the easy way out - I refuse to teach my kids that he who bitches loudest wins. I’ve been told that I should be the bigger person and just let it go because some people can’t be changed - but I can’t just let it go.
I believe blended families require a very unique respect. If those outside the blended house cannot appreciate their uniqueness, they should step away, stay away and not cause unnecessary conflict or turmoil in a situation that’s challenging to begin with.
How, if at all, can you insist that people respect your blended family? How can you keep their lack of respect from tearing your family apart?
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By Gayla McCord -- 1 comment
November 6th, 2008
My kids and I have! And it happened today.
Around my neck of the woods, young people don’t see the rebel flag as a symbol of anything other than “good old boys” and “the redneck yacht club” sort of groups - mine included.
While I’ve tried to impress upon them some of what the symbol means to some people, especially some people of color, I don’t think my point was ever truly appreciated until earlier today.
We had several errands to run and during our outing we decided to make a run for the border. The kids were craving Taco Bell and it didn’t sound half bad. When we arrived, a delightful and very pleasant employee named Freddie greeted us and took our order. We filled our drinks, grabbed our tray and found our seat in the corner that allowed us to people watch while enjoying our meal.
When no customers were in line, Freddie walked about the place cleaning trays, taking out trash and working hard - much more than any other employee that I could see.
We saw a young couple enter. They were in their early 20’s and obviously bent on making a statement. The girlfriend was in front of the guy so he had little reason to turn his back to Freddie other than to make sure Freddie saw the back of his shirt that displayed a pair of crossed rebel flags.
My heart ached as I watched Freddie force a smile and keep a level of professionalism that should be commended and rewarded.
The young couple took their seat and of course I am sure the scowl on my face told them what I thought of their horrible display.
It was at that point that I realized, yet again, that I’m raising my kids right. I’ve always heard myself speak to them, but have never heard them speak in a way that told me what I’d taught them had actually sunk in.
The conversation went something like this:
Son: Mom, why would someone do something like that?
Me: Like what?
Son: Wear a shirt like that into a place where it might hurt someone?
Me: I don’t know hon, people do stupid things for strange reasons.
Son: I feel bad for that guy. It may be ok to like the rebel flag, but that’s a personal choice and not one that should be worn out like that when it could hurt someone.
Me: I’m thinking if Freddie were a little bit taller and a little less friendly, the guy would have done everything he could to make sure Freddie didn’t see his shirt. I’m guessing it’s only because he was in a “safe” place to act big and bad, that he did what he did.
Son: Still it’s wrong and I’m sad for that guy.
Me: Now you see just how something as simple as a picture can crush a human spirit, right?
Son: Yeah
And that’s when the three of us sat quietly, trying to finish our meal - which lasted all of a few more bites as not one of us maintained the appetite we had walked in with.
Can I just say that no matter how frustrated I get in my kids sometimes - I am such a lucky mom to have teen boys who recognize the world around them and in a way that makes them recognize the times when a little human compassion is called for?
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By Gayla McCord -- 3 comments
November 4th, 2008
Every parent with school aged kids face the dilemma on whether or not to send their kids to school.
Today on Doctors - I got the answer:
Any temperature taken orally and is over 99.5 should be considered a fever and the child should be kept home.
Of course I was trying to hear the rest of the segment but obviously my family doesn’t deem my television time as being important - so I’ll just go out on a limb and say a few other things that warrant keeping a child home from school might be:
Screaming squirts
Puking up a lung
Chills, extreme fatigue and icky wet coughs
The latter symptoms would run in combination of course. I wouldn’t keep a kid home with just a cough - but when it teams up with any of the other symptoms, that can just spell one big mess, literally.
What are some of the reasons you find to be solid excuses for keeping a sick kid home? And while we’re at it, do you have any tips on getting other members of the family to respect your television time and shut the hell up?
Image Source: stock.xchg
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By Gayla McCord -- 2 comments
November 3rd, 2008
When my boys were toddlers and going through their biting spell, I did use hot sauce to break them from biting, but to break them from the pacifier? That’s a little harsh. Even for Britney Spears. Apparently she’s using this method to break Sean Preston of his habit.
My boys didn’t have an attachment to a pacifier, for some reason neither one ever wanted or needed them - but when I thought it was time for breaking the bottle, one quick trip to a farm where a mother animal had babies was all the inspiration my kids needed to toss the bottle and never look back.
The boys loved the idea of giving baby animals their bottles - they felt they were doing something really nice to help out.
If you can time the visit just right, at a time when the animals are being weaned from their mother’s - the coaxing the kid into breaking the habit for the greater good.
Britney, dear, drop the hot sauce - it’s not a good idea and on a paci is just a wee bit cruel, even for my taste.
Anyone else have ideas they’d like to share with Britney Spears or mother’s like Brit who are trying to break the paci habit?
Image Credit: Newscom - Source: Babylune
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By Gayla McCord -- 3 comments
October 31st, 2008
On November 1, a new blog I’m writing for will officially launch. That blog is Couture Critters.
The focus will be on pet fashion and spoiled pets in general.
Given my history with Molly and how I love to dress her up, this is sure to be one of the most fun projects I’ve taken on recently.
I do hope you’ll stop over, say hello and enjoy a little of the cuteness that’s going around there.
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By Gayla McCord -- 1 comment
October 31st, 2008
After watching The Secret recently, I decided to build my own vision board. Some of the things I included were:
- Vacation spots
- Ultimate washer/dryer set
- Furniture
- Deposit slip from my bank account that shows a deposit for a set dollar a month with a date
- Bank statement with a set dollar amount and date by which I hope to see that amount
- A photo of a large mailbox with $$ signs flowing into it
- a BMW 300 series
- a mega closet that’s the size of my current bedroom
I have lots more on my board, but it’s an ongoing work in progress.
If you’ve done a vision board, what’s on yours?
If you’ve not done one, what will you put on yours when you do create one?
Image: Amazon
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By Gayla McCord -- 2 comments
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